Xmas Day Blog- blogging on Xmas Day, Evening

Hello..Ho Ho Ho…so Merry/ Happy Xmas to all fren /Readers, who is Celebrating Xmas today…hehhehe Ho Ho Ho….with a hope a Singing Carol from another block of my unit wont be singing again at midnite…where the entire area can clearly hear their voice,….but luckily they sang a nice Xmas song….and I guess everyone feel ‘oklah…nasib suara sedap’ but the bad part is they sang at midnite…few days before today…hhehe Malaysia Boleh Beb!!!

It been quite long for me (yes, if more than 2 days, I define it long ok!) for not write at least something here, with my real grumble….nothing as reason, but really bloody damn bz…..serious no joke I am bz….sound weird haa? Hsewife cam aku bz? Well sometimes u wont expect things happened, but it definitely does…..oklah crita skit perjalanan hidup semenjak dah lama tak grumble ni….

Sepetang di Gym (sejam blh kira sepetang ker???)

Just back from gym…ok I repeat gym…ok..in Bahasa Melayu gimnasium…..tak percaya? Eh hubby kata tak semesti cekeding like me tak perlu pergi gym…i mesti jugak pergi gym…due to family history yg semuanya mempunyai sakit jantung…errmmm betullah in one view abt it kan…Gym just at level 4, but all this while I never been at level 4, where gym, restaurant, swimming pool, residents community centre, and playground are located. Heheh memang lah teruk aku ni, dah duduk sini abt 7 mths. And all this while hubby went to those places alone….Gym was ok lah …aku just buat simple2 exercise and mana yg sesuai jer…cycle n treadmill jer….cycle punyalah berat ..huh!! tak best, org naik 45 minutes, aku set 15 minutes, after 10 mintes I jumped from it…isshhh tak besh….so next I try treadmill, haa yang ni aku suka….so berpeluh2 lah aku hari ni dgn exercisenya…. Overall oklah sbb aku pi pun nak semangatkan hubby yang dah mecam belon…so in order to support him to do exercise, I accompany him…tetiba rasa best plak…rasa canggih jer plak idup ni…pi gym…exercise..so aku dah target seminggu sekali during weekend aku akan pi atau kalau motivation increased later, twice and so on….ok lah jugak…hidup adalah menda baru..lagipun free apa….facilities semua ok, takkan nak lepas tengok jer….tp aku sayang gak kalau semua lemak yg sedikit ni burn…alahai, ssh nak dapat fat aku ni..but hubby kata not necessary lah…hehhehe after that, we went to swimming pool….wah ada Jacuzzi jugak and sauna…aku bertambah rasa nak terjun even I dunt even know how to swim….but oklah meniti di tepian kolam ok jugak….so both of us check2…so we set to go later on…now the problem is we hv to wear the proper attire for swimming or else you can only see other swimming inside there….haiya…..tp mmg pun all the residents kat sini macam patuh plak arahan, tarak yg pakai short ker apa ker…semua ok jer…n one more thing, aku nampak ada residents yg buat barbeque kat tepi pool…heheh syok bangat sbb dah ada facilities party at pool side…so my next one…. Besday party at pool side….exclusive invitation…hehheheh

Setelah sepetang meneroka kondo ini punya facilities, so I target to fully use it when I have time…alah semua menda bagus apa, bukannya kener bayar, semua dah ada depan mata…maybe its time for me to start healthy living, sementara ok ni…kalau2 dah nak jln pun tak larat br nak regret tak pernah pi gym, ssh lah critanya ….rupanya best jugak tempat ni aku jer sang tertingal Polar Express (baru tengok tadi, besh jugak kartun ni kan) dari dunia …isshh tak leh jadi…dah berbulan aku mcm tak ‘hidup’, kener ubah cara ni…tah lah mcm ada satu perasaan baru sejak aku pi gym tadi , is abt having a healthy life agaknya….ok I will start slowly…good luck myself!!!

Project CC

Been bz of doing a proper planning for project CC with my younger sisters…oklah I just hope that this really will give something to us…esp me who just wasting my precious time for about 5 mths, looking and actually doing nothing much…I just hope this is a good start for both of us and at least give us something to learn and to really have in life…we will officially announce the project when its totally up and running….wait….we will meet you out there soon….

Coming Raya AidilAdha a.k.a Kelantan Trip

Wednesday InsyaAllah if there is nothing, we will start journey to Kota Bharu Kelantan, to my sister’s parents in law; Baba & Mama house. We will celebrate our Aidul Adha over there with whole family. My mum, Adam, Hisham and Adik Ahh will only arrive there from Kedah on 30^th morning. That nite itself we will have 34^th Wedding Anniversary celebration of Baba & Mama, where mama has plan to cook her specialty, steamboat. Ok 1^st round of food. Then the next day is Aidil Adha itself, where they have this ‘korban’ among all the family who share their portion. And the nite itself we will have makan2; which is barbeque, in conjunction with the next day kenduri Akikah for the new born of the family, Boy & Atie son, my sister’s bro in law. Sambil2 kupas bawang and kerja2 dapur for the kenduri, all will be serve with barbeque, n I will definitely ensure everyone Mama recipe is the great I ever have for home cook….serious babe…esoknya akan berlansung kenduri akikah si kecil itu…makan lagilah nampaknya….kalau semuanya seperti terjadual, berapa byklah mkn we will have along our stay there…Jatt sememang suka, maklumlah kat sana semua kaum lelakinya memang kaki makan….he got accompany lah nampaknya…Aidil Adha kat Kelantan sememangnya disambut sgt meriah dan penuh suasana…aku InsyaAllah akan berpeluang merasakannya….n Jatt say this will round up this yr….so when we back to here our home sweet home next year hopefully, its all new episode for both of us…suka duka 2006 just have to let it go….n looking for year 2007, we must, as per Yoda said.

We also plan to drop by at Kuantan, where one of Jatt’s uncles live, namely Pak Mat. It has been long since he went to their hse, back to ITM time. And we plan to have a visit after Aidil Adha on our way back to KL. And I never been to Pak Mat’s hse since married, n we think this is gud time to pay a visit to them.


Unconditionally worried of mine

I suppose not to jot down this…let it be in my mind until I can help to settle..kadang2 hidup org yg susah, akan terus dihimpit dengan too many questions and problems….sabar hanya satu2 tunjang kekuatan selain dari terus berusaha mencapai sesuatu….kalaupun aku sesekali terjatuh dan meraung sahaja, aku harapkan ada tempikan yang mampu bangunkan aku sesekali… Cuma kepada sesiapa yg terlalu mendesak, terpulang kepada korang cemana nak nilai kami berdua….apa yg berlaku setakat ini cukup menguji kekuatan kami….bertahan seharusnya….

Kaya sangatkah kami..kalau kami ni kaya dah lama hutang piutang dilangsaikan terdahulu…sapa mahu hidup dlm hutang piutang….mungkin hidup korang baik dari kami, tapi kami bersyukur dgn apa yg ada….kami berterima kasih seadanya dgn segala limpah rahmat ….tp ada jugaklah bahlol yang kadang2 buat aku rasa nak jer lempang sekali…apalah ke bodohnya ….hai..kalau aku tak sabar dah lama aku pecah2 kan kepalanya yg ngok tu….

Tapi alhamdulillah, walaupun tu lah niat buruk aku kat org2 yg macam tuh, aku masih terpelihara…Amin.

.....will cont write many things....now back to my bizz plan....tata..Ho Ho Ho....

Review/ summary of year 2006

thinking about do a review/ summary for yr 2006....maybe these are the lists of the review:

Who Married?
Who Engage?
Who Got Baby?
Who Now Pregnant?
Who Resigned?
Who Passed Away?
Who got New Job/ Promoted/ New Bizz?
Who Move House?
Who Buy New Car?
Who Sit for Exam?
Who went to Makka for Haj?


hehehhe if i am so free i will list down n do..heheheh sesaja nak list down....
kalau ada lg i will add on....
nampak sgt aku ni tak der kerja arah haluan...

Updates n updates …

Friday…

Me feel not well still, headache n nausea still…but what to do….sabar jer lah…ptg we went to IKEA to buy gifts for the relatives wedding on Saturday n Sunday…IKEA tgh sales so we grab the opportunity to buy something affordable as a gift to the newly wed..hope dia org sukalah…

Then later, received a phone call fr. akak, invitation dinner at her hse…ni mesti Mak Chom masak…cayalah!Mak Chom is Jatt aunty from Alor Setar who is well known as DIVA Chef among the relatives n fren.What ever she cook, is delicious! Have a dinner treat at Akak’s hse @ KD10, Kota Damansara with Pak Su’s family, Mak Chom and Akak’s family….yummy food what else I can say…no more!!…makan sampai tak larat nak bgn, bukan sbb byk tp sbb Mak Chom masak terlampau sedap…huhh kalau cemgini lah aku mkn hehari, tak lama Jatt n I sama saiz boleh kongsi t-shirt….Mak Chom mmg fantastic & fabulous cooker ever known fr Jatt’s family….tanya lah sapa pun, kalau Mak Chom yg masak semua nya lapar selalu ajer kerja….tak blh tolak, tgk pun lapar, bau dah buat terasa dlm mulut, kalau mkn…? Sandri mahu ingat lah …Pak Su’s family turun sini to attend double wedding of our cousin son…lg pun sejak dr raya tak jumpa sbb tak blk hometown…me n hubby tak sempat bual lama coz hubby rushing for his meeting with Nezam, PCM. Me? Home alone doing something I like…reading

Saturday….

Pg ni we both bgn lewat sbb smlm aku tak berapa blh tidor…the nausea n headache teruk skit semlm…..but then pg ni mcm ok skit after taking a bread with cheese , prepared by hubby..mana nak cari laki buat sarapan utk bini? Haa ni dia kat sini ada sorang…baik sungguh…TQ Yang…Love u…I sempat kemas2 umah, vacuum apa yg patut, cuci yang kotor n sikit2 clean up…mana tahu kot2 ada relatives yg datang nak singgah after the wedding..maklumlah semua datang dr jauh for the double wedding serentak ni….mana tahu Pak Din & Mak A’a family nak datang, Mak Chik ker? Pak Su pun semlm kata kalau sempat will drop by. Hee kalau rumah serabai aku gak kener kutuk…kalau umah kemas org kata ‘pandai bini Jatt kemas umah..” sapa dapat nama? Jatt jugak kan…biasalah tuh..aku plak mmg suka kemas+ bersih ni…sedap mata pandang n senang hati ni…

Wedding at Community Hall TTDI..anak lelaki (yg aku n Jatt tak tahu namanya) Kak Zah Abg Kamal (Kak Zah cousin Jatt, anak to Mak Wan n Pak Hamid)…heheh meriah n luxury jugaklah the wedding..maklomlah Dato Datin kan…tak per lah aku selesa menghadiri majlis depa sbb aku ni family kot…ok jer meriah n sedap mata pandang… aku duduk semeja mkn with Pak Din + Mak A’a famili…Kak Ti + hubby abg Det, and also Kak Tah + hubby Abg Ali….syok dalam hati jumpa family n org2 veteran…byk petua byk cerita n happy sgt2….bygkan arwah abah Jatt got 10 sibling, so how many of all cousin2 nyer? Tu pun tak semua ada..jumpa semua yg datang…family saja dah setengah dewan…tema kenduri Kak Zah ni biru tp aku n Jatt selamba jer lah pakai baju kurung kuning air n kemeja warna tanah..hehhe biasalah kami mmg biasa2 punya gang….

Relatives Jatt semua ramah tamah n mesra alam, mesra rakyat…aku pun jumpa most of them masa wedding, so today mcm byk lah peluang aku nak kenal lg baik..masalah lucunya, bila aku Tanya Jatt, “Yang, ni sapa?” he will reply slumber nya “ tah …I pun tak kenal…” haa tu dia kata…so dgn baik hatinya aku pun bertanya2 kat Mak Kina atau Akak, habis sgt kat Mak Chom….(ngan Mak Chom la ni aku close….crita best punya …) Alhamdulillah aku kenal byk adik beradik today dgn lebih baik…n yg pastinya dia org akan kata “ Jatt now dah nampak muka dah….dulu ssh nak tgk dia…” yes we back for good….hehe aku happy dengan wedding today..

Tp malangnya, mlm aku menjadi sedikit tak comfortable ngan aku punya nausea…kuang kuang kuang…esok kenduri lg jgn lah wat hal…..

Sunday..

Today bgn taklah awal sgt sbb like last nite aku masih ‘sakit’…alah nasib badan. N the worse part bwh perut aku dah sakit semakin kuat plak..ingat tak sedap perut biasa…tp ni dah menjadi2 plak… Bgn kemas2 apa yg patut n siap2 pi amik Kak Ti Abg Bark, daughter & son at LRT Kelana Jaya….then to the wedding sekali….Dia org mai from Alor Setar, duduk hotel mana tah…aku pun tak tahu..we all bertolak ke Sime Darby Convention Ctr, Bukit Kiara abt 11.30am, ini kenduri kener tepat masa sbb tuan umah is the very particular person. Dunt play2 or u duduk luar kalau pintu dah kunci at 12.30 nanti..haa nganga plak lah kang..ni very protocol + Sitting-in kenduri so jaga n hormatilah majlis org. Kenduri ni kenduri Abg Din + Kak Fazidah for their last son, Izzat (they have 2 sons only), married to Syaquera (sweet lovely lady)..Abg Din is the eldest cousin of Jatt fr the eldest aunty (Wa) from his father side. Abg Din & Kak Fazidah who is also the important person who plays roles from the 1^st to the end of our wedding last time…. Abg Din well known as the most successful among the relatives and he become an idol to many of us. He is among the one who will be listen to for many reasons n most of his opinion will be count, in making decision for family matters especially…he is gentleman, cool, diplomatic, nice man in what he says how rude it is lah kan, u may found him almost the perfect one…. Basically he deserved his position in his career n family respect as well…Enuff abt Abg Din..lets talk abt the crazy grand wedding of the day…everything luxury n so crazy beautiful…the decoration, the surrounding, the guest, the newly wed, the VIP table, the pelamin, the door gift, the F&B, what ever it is on the day lah (don’t talk abt it coz both Jatt & I think we are just nobody there…) seriously it just like wedding in heaven (how I know how heaven look like hehheheheh)..it has a Japanese elements + Minangkabau …can u imagine... The theme is apple green, but really nicely done…n I understand that Kak Fazidah plan all this for the wedding…n I also heard they will present the daughter in law with BMW, wow nasib n rezeki badan lah jugak…Alhamdulillah. Hahah tu lah aku pun tak reti nak cakap …tp yg pastinya segalanya luxury sgt2…Jatt & I just enjoy watching ppl of the day else than happy to meet up with other relatives again…heheh well like usual we will discuss the ‘story + moral of the day’ after tat…errmmm we learn a lot n we hope we can always remember what we learn today… Kenduri2 macam gini tak semua org selesa, esp kami org2 kampung ni…so ada lah jugak soseh2 yg kedengaran di antara family…tu kan perkara biasa, Cuma aku n Jatt kunci mulut dr komen apa2, jadikanlah iktibar utk kehidupan…Conclusion, I dunt know how much they pay for the wedding….but it is the great wedding I ever attend for now… nicely done… n everyone seem to ask me ‘When?’ “dah ada apa2 ker?’ hehheh aku dengan senyih segan muka tak malu terus selumber berkata, “tu lah nak sgt, tak der rezeki…Tgulah Jatt deliver 1^st, amik turn plak lepas ni heheh”

Today

Went to clinic for check up coz last nite was the painful nite for me …cant sleep for 3 nites oledi n rasanya dah tak thn…when Jatt ask me for the check up, I shud say yes coz I mmg tak thn dah…rasa nak pecah perut.. ingat tak selesa perut skit jer then semakin2 jadi plak..aku bgn jer dah terasa sharp pain plak…haiyooo

The when the doc check there are possibilities…possibilities Ok?!..maybe my appendix, bladder, the ovary, esophagus might have a problem or maybe just infection… the Dr said infection might happen to newly wed like us coz its time to adapt everyone punya badan…heheh aku bukan tahu tp aku pernah tahu lah pasal tu…then Dr ask me to do urine test. After the test, my urine found with a lil blood inside it…hrrmmmm so the doctor says its maybe coz of the stone or the infection, or other that he now can’t define. So he gave me the ubat-ubatan untuk dihabiskan in 2 days, n shud get back c how izzit. Then he can get the idea wat izzit all abt…hhrrmmm ok..aku risau jugak pasal ni esp when he mentioned abt ovary thingy…dah la aku ni terketar dak nak baby now ni…jgn lah apa2 jd plak…

Petang amik Mak Chom n Akak’s daughter to Kompleks Tabung Haji Kelana Jaya with hubby. Mama Wan Chik n Ayah Li ke Makkah…sayu pilu n seronok gembira berbaur..aku hanya berdoa semoga Mama n Ayah Li serta semua jemaah yg menunaikan haji musim ini dapat melaksanakan haji dengan baik, dibekalkan kesihatan yang baik untuk ibadah dan selamat pergi selamat pulang…(moga2 org yg tolong menunaikan haji arwah ayah juga dapat laksanakannya dengan sempurna..Amin) Ramai sungguh para keluarga n rakan rasanya menghantar para jemaah di Kompleks TH ni…sampaikan ada bazaar n macam pesta…para jemaah semua ceria dgn rezeki dan peluang yg ada untuk ibadah yg dituntut ini, dan para saudara rakan mungkin sedih di mata, tp aku percaya doa mengiringi jemaah dan azam agar one day akan sama berpeluang ke Tanah Suci Makkah…bg menunaikan ibadah haji sekiranya mampu..

Talking abt Mak Wan Chik, heheh tak pernah terfikir dek akal aku yg perempuan yg selalu baca berita masa aku kechik dulu, akan jd mak mertua aku satu hr nanti. Aku dengar suara dia dlm radio jugak n kadang2 tgk SPM ada dia..mana aku pernah terbayang semua ni, aku akan masuk dalam family dia n also berkahwin ngan anak dia, dan mana nak sangka aku akan bertemu muka ngan dia walaupun aku tak lah minat dia masa dulu..just pada aku dia baca berita best n suara dia sedap, apa yg dia baca clear…

…n org tua yg suka berlakon lawak kadang2 gatal dlm tv tuh jd pak mertua aku? Tak pernah aku byg lansung …but segalanya ketentuan olehNya…Sapa pun depa, aku bersyukur kerana anaknya mama ni, seorang yg sgt baik pada aku….hhehhe baik sangat walaupun dia tak pernah bg tahu dia baik…hehhe (kisah ‘baik’)

Mlm aku dengan baik hatinya di ajak Mak Chom n Akak mkn mlm yg akan dimasak oleh Mak Chom pastinya.. boleh ker sesiapa nak tolak kalau Mak Chom yg masak esp Jatt…lepas maghrib we went to dinner at Akak’s hse….Alhmadulillah..

Esok electric supply tarak from 10am – 6pm at our condo so I dah plan nak pi belajar masak ngan Mak Chom kat umah Akak. Heheh menunya Nasi Tomato, Ayam Golek, Dalca….n laso nak buat kuih kegemaran aku pastinya Seri Muka…aduhhh meleleh aku dibuatnya…. Aku n ak korek lg rahsia masakan kat Mak Chom sbb bg aku dia masak ….huiyoooo…aku nak guna peluang esok tanya byk menda… aku mmg suka masak n dah jumpa tukangnya….

So later aku akan cuba menggemukkan lg hubby aku ini dgn masakan aku….tunggulah kau….

Cebisan hari hari seorg pemburu mcm aku…. Part 1

Hari ini diteruskan walau seribu beban yg aku sendiri create menunggu depan mata..alah biarlah..langkah aku teruskan …cari lg kerja, alhamdulillah dapat satu interview with this quite popular training ctr kat Ampang..(jauh gak kan dr Damansara ni…but may be rezeki di sana), so will attend interview next week Wednesday…Good Luck Myself..i can do it, tp jgn lah hantu jepun n cap ayam mcm yg lepas kat MV tuh…sakit jiwa saya….

Yesterday ada satu call from this agensi kerja looking for me, dia nak kaw tim aku utk dia punya client kat Kiara, event company for the government, so aku keener hantar blk resume with photo, n later will attend interview

Today dapat dua kall dr company yg interested nak call for interview, satu kat Kiara (eng company ) n satu lg IT Software Hse kat Ampang…tp ini phone interview nak negotiate before real interview nanti…..so I be clear myself abt what I am looking for..so they know what my expectation and more details….hehhehe kan senang tak yah nak buang masa sesapa.

Harap2 dapat lah kerja cepat skit….bosan jd surirumah yg tak berjasa …tak sebaik yg disangka…

Hari ni walau ada gundah dlm hati yg berkecai …sedih dlm sedikit pedih, aku terasa ‘hidup’ looking at email from kekawan lama kat UiTM Arau masa aku buat Diploma in Buss Studies, and few during my BBA days…heheh what a pleasure feeling after so much criesssss

I am missing those lots…..we close to each one…walau pun masa dulu aku mmg rapat ngan Chik Dah n Nana n later + Anna, tp aku ni jenis Mak Chik Garang yg actually frenly ngan semua org…pd sapa yg kenal aku maybe can understand lah kot…

So 2day dapat updates fr ppl who has been long in the caves I guess…..Annis – Kecantikan …., Muhaini Aweks Langkawi, Marina Azmi – we keep contact since yesterday (Ina windu hang ), Hizal Hazardi- a guy wit Petronas + Congrat abt the baby, Yanz- dah ler tuh honey moon hang ni, Muhizan – mamat SBB Mutual yg rajin kerja sampai tak cuti2, also from Irdarina- hhehehe duduk kat area artis takper tp jgn jd artis tak beshhhh…aku tau lah..

Tahlah pk pk blk pasal UiTM Arau. Miss it lots…byk sgt nak cerita pasal tuh, masa yg berlalu sgt2 indah, masih teringat segala semua kenangan plg indah jd student…5 yrs yg mahal nak cerita semua tak hbs…aku mcm bau jer udara kat Arau bgn pagi nak pi kelas …. Arrghh byk sgt nak ingat…..aku rasa sesak dgn kenangan indah..n ppl around who I used to be wit…dewan makan, Kolej Teja, Beringin, LT, Provos, Library, Gerai, Podium, hhehhehe wat a great memory…..

Grumble skit ….skit jer….

Hari ni mcm emosi skit…tah lah byk yg nak diluah kan tp tak terucap…. Mcm ada something blocked my mind n my words seem to b hard too….

Ada kalanya kita hanya berdiam dlm byk keadaan tp bukanlah maknanya kita suka, lupa, tak suka, marah atau apa2 yg org lain tafsirkan…just we need a time to make sure we are in at least stabil to take further action…

When I as human is too tired of something, there are tendency to make me feel frustrated, angry, act stupid and be not myself at least partial of all….tah lah ..maybe surface it was me who c me, but after all adakah mereka2 yg itu tahu siapa aku ini…

Apakah perasaan aku sebenarnya – so maybe one of u tanya kenapa perlu tahu apa aku punya perasaan, siapa aku? Pentingkah?..well maybe not for u guys but for those who related. I guess again partial may be important….

Menjaga hati dan perasaan org tak semudah menjaga hati dan rasa hati me myself…but I sometimes forget the fact that I must try my best to take care abt myself better than other , coz by that way I am actually can take care those ppl whom I love …if I am in good condition….

What I do now if I feel angry? Coz I lately easily got panicked attacked, I shud from every now n then be xtra careful of everything or else I hv no choice….i might on the way to face of any possibilities get sick and sick….i really tak nak….coz I have him…

I try to do things just to avoid my feeling , such as angry, fear, tempered, but somehow I found out that me doing wrong things n its kill myself….its really make me feel guilty for such things….

Arrhghhhh I dunt even know what now…When? Why? Who? Can someone just help me to just simplfy myself……make life a bit easier for me….bit real..
Doesn’t it sounds I am in trouble? Not happy?
I am not in trouble, and I a happy ever since I am finding it…I am happy…
Just at this time I am a bit confuse, uncomfortable and also looking for something to ease this real pain….n I am ….
I shud stop grumble here coz its getting headache in my head….

Al_Fatihah untuk beloved mother of Marina, who passed away peacefully last November 20^th. She for what I used to know along the way my frenship with Marina, was a great mother and ideal wife ….her missing will be really lots of lost for everyone who knew her. Pray that she will belong to good Muslim……Amin…

Apa Kater kita cerita skit...

Hello blog…..me here today…and ada update sikit…just utk simpanan hari tua…

Semalam a.k.a kelmarin orang Kedah kata

company yg bengong dan sengal yg interview aku last Friday , call back and this is the stupid conversation tat really make me sick….

Her: Hello, can I speak to blab la bla

Me: yes speaking…

Her: Ok I am Ms X from Company X, remember you hv interview with us last Friday….

Me: Yes…ok…anything? (Baer74539 bky$*#^%P#*%)ORQ – this wat I feel tat time a.k.a annoying)

Her: Ok Congratulation and you have been selected for the post as per apply. You can start work on Monday…we will have a one day training on Monday for you..

Me: Ok, Thank you…but I have informed Mr X that actually I am not interested for the position already. Did he inform you? N I have another interview on Monday…

Her: Its ok then you can start on Tuesday…

Me: Ok but thanks I am not interested with the post….i hope you understand…

Her: Its ok you may think and go for the interview on Monday but I will call you again on Tuesday..

Me: ………

Tut tut tut……

Visiting Mum-in-Law

- it was a good visit for both of us to my mum in law hse at AU Keramat….we talk and we share experienced as a wife…..hehhe rahsia mentua menantu….siapa yang tahu…. Will send mama to Kompleks Tabung Haji Kelana Jaya on 18^th Dec at 4.30pm…..sad that she is leaving but happy that she hv the opportunity to do Haji again…Alhamdulillah…

One Great Meeting With a Fren

- last nite both of us have a very late meeting with Fan…a very great discussion abt future bizz…I feel happy and really hope that we can make it….in very short time…hope n pray that this will be materialize with good future. Sometimes I realize tat I really motivated and happy to discuss about bizz…. It doesn’t matter whether it is 2 o’clock in morning, I dunt fell sleepy…..

Gurl Day Out …

I will upload few pictures taken from Sue camera…what I can say for now….tunggu…hehheh

Grumble pg Sabtu

Sayur-Sayuran Segar di Malaysia

I just finished watching Discovery Channel, n grab the remote control to check other channel….RTM1- Femme. I hv no idea apa rancangan itu. Then RTM2- Bawang & Halia (B&H)…..OOOOoooooo apa ni, dah la gempar now ni with BAwang MErah Bawang Putih dr Indon kat tv yg buat semua org yg menonton jd sedikit tak keruan, ada plak crita bawang n halia, Malaysia pun nak wat cerita bawang jugak….apa menda lah semua ni? Apa menda ni Malaysia di landa sayur-sayuran ker? Me n hubby mcm biul sekejap pikirkan current senario ….u know we always think tat now Malaysia ‘TENAT’ dlm byk hal…if u tgk tv macam cerita yg ada selain dr Discovery Channel N News, apalah sgt yg tinggal for the mind development, for the knowledge purposes….OPPSss do I say something offend anyone here? I guess yes for few ppl who responsible here….but then again its all opinion of me….yeaarrrghhh really we now quite not rite somewhere with our country current envi…really …I know everyone realize this fact but ikan bilis like us apa sangat yg kita blh buat…sembang2 to each other n then diam , keep komplen, kuasa bukan kat tgn kita…ok go back to B&H….TV is one of the biggest and transparent medium to the public, for many reasons, educating, informing, entertaining and also other purposes sometimes out of it way too….with this current development of Malaysia, and the awareness level we need more than B&H, never said tat was bad idea or wat…but we need more than tat…for the growth, for the mind development, for the maturity level….this is my plain opinion abt TV show lately….i define it as sick…with all those nonsense reality tv show? OMG…wat is that? Izzit one of the way how we want to achieve Vision 2020? Or it just dream after all…..we need more educational, awareness, and mind development TV show that will help Malaysian to be at the level where Malaysia id a developing country….pardon me…developing country….arrgghh talking abt this I am sure I hv lot more to say ….more n more of ideas will be really touch my nerve….i am sick with all the issues like Mat Rempit, Snatch Thief, Rapist, Accident –never free coz you actually cost yourself, all the politicians thingy- they suppose to help all of citizens improve quality of life in their own areas that we have given, they must remember they actually work for us, but seem we work for them most of the time, we pay tax, we pay this higher price an lots more….stop stop! Stop! ..i am getting mad with our country now, but got no choice of staying here ….ok take a deep breath….

Popping Window….for my hubby

U know, I notice that I am some kind of popping window to my hubby almost of the time… I am not sure where he belongs to sometimes but I believed he still here…I told him n he said I am a popping window…. Popping window haaa?

Me: Yang…nanti bla bla bla

Silent……

Me: Yang….u dengar tak?

Him: Ha? Apa?

Silent……. Coz I normally won’t repeat the line for the second time …I won’t…. N later he lost again…until this ‘popping window’ say something else….then I popping again ….huhuhuhuhuhu

He Sing Paris Hilton Song

Its really put me a big laugh last nite when my hubby sing the song , in the car to fetch David…hhahahah keener sumpah dah lah…Mat Rock nyanyi lagu PH…alalallalalaa hubby kata balik kener kumur mulut….we both gelak sampai nak terburai when we both realize he sing the song nicely….hehehhe minat ker kat PH?

Friday yang blur......

Interview

So sucks i tell u...so simply said this 'forget abt it'...y? many reasons tat really upset n offend me....

1- Its totally sales post where need me to sell a phone line to corporate bizz, and also hv a quota + comm overiding (serik babe ngan comm overiding ni)
2- salary crazy, not even what i want but half of it, somemore 1st mth salary is only RM1.5K, so for the 2nd mth will b based on my performance, XCUSE me i am not fresh grad ....
i have been in this market for long....djcfvfberq2o420347t6546432&^*($@KJFio4u
3-the guy remark me like this, the conversation like this more or less- idiot one:

Him: u married arrr, problem lah
Me: yes, it's stated in my resume , you shud know when u select me to attend rite?

Him: yearghhh….but u know most malay married one hv problem with doing sales…

Me: yes , any problem…..

Him: I find that malay lady who married the husband quite jeles, maybe he dunt like u to talk to man during sales

Me: U also a guy

Him: Ermmm yes but most of them from what I know

Me: look, if my hubby is open minded person, n also he allow me to work …I will be fine

Aku dah rasa panas muka yang di make up cantik, Lagi mamat biul ni tambah…

Him: nolah I just worry if….

ME: I feel offend for what you say…coz u just say from wat u think, any finding to support your opinion, any studies conducted…I guess u not suppose to say so, its touch my sensitivity

Him: err..no n I am sorry that you feel offend, I …

Me: you suppose not to say this to me, or else find a gud way to tell me. U touch the interracial sensitivity, n its sensitive

Muka dah bengkak marah ni…..muka mamat tuh mcm blur skit….

Him: do you plan for family?

ME: I did and I wud love to hv baby soon..any prob with this? If I am hired?.....

Him: No lah you know we afraid…

Me: Ok…TQ for this interview opp give to me, I have the best experience having this interview with you. But let me tell u, maybe next time you need someone fr HR to assist you n know more abt interview session….

And I am not interested anymore to get this position. Thanks.

Him: bla bla bla bla ………………

Me: No thanks….have a nice day

I walk out fr the opis feel smart n gud abt wat I said…kalau nak citer byk lagi babe buat semua org bengang. The end for the stupid interview…..moga2 aku akan lupa all this…..

Max Family:

I am now in mid doing the feedback form for the last event…masih tak siap lagik….bg dateline kat meeting a week konon, cewahhh…tup tup terbz lah plak now days…..haiyaaa ok I try to do it on this weekend…

Saturday

Ingat nak masak2 lah…rsa nak wat soto ayam…lapar lah…rasa nak mkn memacam lah….tgklah esok pg pi pasar TTDI beli few bhn masak….bukan ssh pun kan…nak masak senang asal mahu masak….will go visit my mum-in-law nak pi hj dah 18^th ni….so nak amik kesempatan ni nak lawat dia n father-in-law b4 they go……tp belum bincang with Jatt wat time….huhuuh ..pening achik ngan menda2 mcm ni…

Sunday gurls Day Out…

Will be at 3pm will b gurls day out with Zaily n Sue…..at MV..its Zaily besday 9actually dah lepas but we tak celebrate lg)…Ita cant make it coz she is not around KL, balik Seromban lah kot tuh….we still dunno which place to sit n make keypo but must choose bit quiet place so we will be the keypoiest in the place…ahhahah so dah cakap all must wear vogue , the theme…heheheh will go for win shop as well….aku ni dah kulat ah tak kuar2 merapu layan jiwa….gila beku aku…

1^st ingat nak buat potluck at Miza’s hse, but somehow aku terasa mcm sengal plak …..so we all cancelled n we will hv the outing for gurl only….bgs gak sengal2 kat luar sesekali ngan pompuan2 vogue ni…bukan apa kener lah sesekali jauh ngan hubby n bf …tak gitu Miza? So bila dah dekat blk nanti br rasa rindu bayangan skit…tu pun nak kener habaq ker….. aku plak tak sesabar abt this day out…sbb dah lama since kawen tak vogue with them……oklah tuh..have own sweet time with fren sometimes….berkepit sokmo pun bukan bgs jugak kan….hehhe

Aku terbayang how it be….dah lama sgt tak jumpa ngan dia org dalam envi yg vogue ……(vogue ker? Blh lahhhh) isshkkk apa nak pakai ni?

Somehow we all termentioned abt Jane Bonds……bgs bgs…so M (stand for Miza) u cant lari2 fr us ok……Malaysia ni kechik jer wei…..aku tak lah kursus risik2 ni but blh thn lah…..

Job Hunting

Masih terkial2 mencari yg sesuai and baik….baik bukanlah pangkat besar ..tp yg blh deliver within capabilities, ada space nak expand, ada space for improvement, learning opp, salary as per delivery n market rate….with xperience and also knowledge….oklah

Moga2 akan dapat lah soon

Will b continue soon…mlm skit …..

Serba sedikit untuk hari ini....

heheheh aku excited sebenarnya nak tulis blog tp like i always said to this page...its about time that i have...yeaaahhh org lain also have 24hrs/day but they can blog even like novel length, y i am not.....hehe so i make up my own time.....

ANKLE SPRAIN- today i really feel tak sihat....since saturday i have ankle sprain ...huiyo punya lah best, terhenjut henjut...n today i dah letak menda yg balut tuh ..apa nama? haaa bandage ...Jatt yg tlg pakaikan....since saturday i went to CM for Max Family meeting dah rasa skit2 but i guess itu sengal2 manja, but on Sunday wake up nak pi market TTDI, dah mcm tak berapa blh jln...nak minta hubby buy all the things for the open hse, alamat skitlah sbb "Jatt budak baru belajar' pasal ikan sayur ni. Dah tuh Sunday whole day kerja keras masak2 utk all family sampai mlm....then Monday pg wake up awal teman Jatt regular visit ker Hosp Ampang (nampak mcm aku plak sakit sbb jln mcm kaki patahhhh)... Hari ni kau rasa pelik serupa coz mkn lunch kat Damansara Jaya SS22 mcm food dia tak berapa kener skit...rasa nak throw jer...dah tuh rasa mcm pening mampus..huhhu now i left alone home ....dunt feel like eating...n Jatt kener tapau......siannyaaa

INTERVIEW - esok ada interview @11.00am at one of company at Mid Valley Boulevard, as Corporate Sales Consultant...mcm best jer title..biasalah...Malaysia punya envi title kerja mesti best, task mcm siot, gaji lg lingkup but sometimes we have no choice to choose...mcm telan sakit perut tak mkn lapar mampus...mcm tuh lah dunia kita yang cari kerja..Org mcm aku sebenarnya tak kisah sgt ttg title, asal aku blh wat kerja n apa yg dapat n diberi kat aku amat setimpal...jgn asyik nanyakan org punya effort sudah. Kalau kerja bunyi gah n nak tunjuk name card pun malu sbb title too much, tp tak leh deliver wat per...for me easy prinsip...belajar dr bwh ok but satu hari apa yg penting we deliever within our capabilities , mcm arwah ayah kata, "kalau jd tukang sapu,jd lah tukang sapu yg terbaik..."...previous company really make me serik babe..tahlah tak nak ingat, ssh nak lelap kang mata...sakit jiwa....alah attend jer lah mana tahu rezeki kami kat situ...mana tahu kalau ok..as long tak kener wat sales ada quota...oklah babe...if not i feel its quite hard to accept....sales ni bukan utk org yg macam gua,...no no no....n i really dunt feel like i want to do sales...i love coordinator job..hehehhe tapi nak pilih sgt pun mana boleh aku bukan anak VVIP senang bapak byk kompeni pi lah work as wat ever title pun, gaji ko melambak jugak....so with my own qualification, experience, weaknesess n strength i have i will try best....kalau company serve me gud, have no reason not to be at par at least...do i make myself clear here? hope lah ...i dunno ...seem that my application lately got big2 companies attention...n also waiting for interview with one big international company at Mont Kiara, as Account Director...huiyoooo director tuh...bunyi mmg sedap yg tak sedap pun byk...so? sendiri mahu pk pk lah yerk....InsyaAllah if thats written for me, it will be mine...berdoalah.....i am ready to go for interview...hehhehe

E_MO_C - kacau bilau skit with too many things...semua asak + himpit n didnt allow aku nak nafas sometimes...i learn how to control bit but somehow....i insan biasa ada kalanya failed..tak per cuba lg kata hubby...hehehhe.Tahlah since last week asyik sensitive plak dgn semua hal..huhuh aku tak jd minah rock+serious dah....apa masalah tah.....airmata selalu sgt ada....lebih air kot...tak blh jd....shud hv do sthings.....

FISH - dr tujuh Max fishes, dah tinggal 4.....aduh shahdu babe...tak sanggup....how arrrr? with a gud n high hope tat 4 will stay with me....not enuff love fr me aarr? food enuff i guess, water ok........maybe i am too bz to talk with...huhuh....dunt go pls stay..

BIZZ - slow....dunt ask....just cant say much....

i need a rest coz i feel like demam oledi...nanti burn interview...oh NO pls ...
kepala rasa mcm pusing ...but i cant sleep ..huhuhhuh

Max Family Photo : Chit Chat & Fun With CML day, 25th Nov 2006

Date: 25 th Nov 2006
Time: 2.00pm - 6.00pm
Venue: Orthopedic Clinic Hospital Kuala Lumpur
Event: Chit Chat & Fun With CML Day

Previous Blog : PArt 4

Win-shopping with hubby n sister + UpDATE (Saturday December 2, 2006 - 12:58am (SGT)

A-Day-Care
... yesterday...i was away for whole day to my sister hse at Palm Spring ...she has been attacked again by her 'disease' of the year...so i have to take a look at her, the daughter and my youngest sister who just came from Kedah last Tuesday..i have to cook n b there if anything happened... and later in the evening Hubby n I decided to overnite at her hse, if in any case she get attack again ....his husband working outstation and only b back by friday nite (tonite lah...) n i back home this morning after she said she will b ok.....its has been tiring...but today is her day...what about esok hari aku pulak....

One Utama Shopping
hehehhe.....after Friday pray hubby fetch me n we go fecth my younger sister to go 'back-to-school-shopping'....decided to go to One Utama coz its near to our hse and there is few sales on going for this school break + XMas celebration. Around 4pm .....PJ area esp our hse area rain heavily...lighting n thunder everywhere.....hrrmmmm but it doesnt stop us to go n get my sister ready for it...she goin to attend her UPSR next year.... after get her 'beg -sekolah-oren' and school shoes, we shoot off to Mak Kina's hse at TTDI...need to send her to KL Sentral, coz she wana catch flight to Penang at 10, so the ticket shud be taken before 8pm. Huhhhh the road seem so stuck with all the cars...include us....But thank God we reach there quarter to 8pm....then we decided to take my sister to Popular and buy what else necessary....we shoot off to Ikano Power Centre, also very near to our hse...

Popular..
Again 'shopping-back-to-school' ......... Jatt renew his Popular Card with RM10 n there we go with all the sationaries and books...... found out many new arrivals....where it show its quite long for me not to have my sweet time at bookstore, where it used to be one of the 'must-do-things' before i got married...but ppl changed when status changed.... lots of books...lots more materials that really make me feel ....if i have a bookstore + restaurant...fuhhhh syoknya...being in bookshop always gud feeling for me.....tetiba rasa mcm pandai...hehehhe...we both found few books tat really funny in title n some really great to read n worth buy...but we learned tat all book expensive whether the book thick or thin...its damn xpensive n we end up just belek2 only....Richard Templer dah ada new book, 'The Rules of Wealth'...huhhh crazy..... one day i will buy all his 'the rules...' book. Nice to read....we both have really a laugh of the day, when we belek2 one of the series from 'Man Fr Mars, Woman fr Venus'...heheheh quite true when woman always interpret something else wat man trying to say....n man quite hard to get the true idea wat abt woman trying to tell.....hehehhehe if all to easy to b understand and to clear to interpret, life must b so boring, so dull n so static......with all the differences, its where all grows where it shub be, the way it shub be n y it shud b......i guess....

Clearance Sales....
i spotted few clearance sales here n there...n i jump into one shop, sells all the woman stuff..Nusantara styles fashion but oklah i suka .. ...a nice baby-blue blouse just cost me RM20..where the normal price was RM 79.90....worth buying, coz not a reject item....just need to b clear; maybe old stock...but who cares how much it cost...as long it is nice n really suit the person....else you r branded type lady.... but somehow after all, i did not buy anthing fr the shop..."next year" maybe...went to famous shoe shop (a concept shop where sells all type of clothes for man woman n kids) compared to One Utama, no discount at all, but at Ikano ada plak...huhhh teruk......

Movie...tak move
we at 1st plan to go for movie, but seem not today event....i ask Jatt to bring me for a break after quite long ... for 2 hrs for CINTA film...the promotion of this film really make me wana watch how great it is, as per say by the media ...the media esp press seem to give a good cover abt this movie...n may be my 2hrs worth pay n waiting... but movie tak move.....maybe next time will do....never too late...tp sedar ker tak sedar...both of us never go for movie since married....life bz but its sounds weird also.....tahlah......byk sgt nak buat dan apa yg di pikirkan have to be done....

OthersUpdate:
- shortlisted in latest bit Sebutharga, coming week is presentation time, Good Luck jatt n wish u all the best....(consider my suggestion? will you?)
- thinking abt our Raya HAji destination...hhrrmmm difficult to say when no one knows actually we are really in deep ****..pening kpl achik mcm ni...haiya kenapa lah ada jugak org yg ssh nak paham org lain...
- my brain seem so briliant when giving opinion to the other- thinkng on behalf other ppl , while it seem dead for my own use.... ini sudah pening babe...
- got few interview in-line, just prepare myself to 'back to 9-to-5' work if in any case i get a job....so i will just go......hunting again for the rice...
- Max Family event considered so succesful and we have really great great feedback from many ppl: - hematologist, patients, frens, volunteers, press, and many more....n its make my day till today....esok pukul 10am meeting....spaa nak sacrifice weekend almost everyweek just for free....but Max Family Core Group did....coz we believed with ourselves...there comes 'LOVE,HOPE, CHEER' for all...

i dunt know ....me these few days blur......
n fell too messy....too messy for everything...

n now i am sleepy head......better i go bed....coz no point waiting for Jatt...he layan bini no 3....bini no 1 is the Harley Davidson, bini no dua gitar2 kesayangan, bini no 3 is DELL notebook n i lah kot no 4......so baik yg no 4 go tido...esok meeting Max Family at Central Market @10.00am...huhuhuhuhu
niteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

The Star Today.....Friday December 1, 2006 - 02:39pm (SGT)

This morning i got SMS from Mei Ching, we are in news paper today....hoorayyy ...we are up to tell ppl who inneed.....we are here for you guys...helping hand for you....where you can find 'love hope n cheer........'

Source from The Star Online:

A support group for CML patients

By ESTHER CHANDRAN
Photos by RAJA SHAMSUL BAHREN

A NEWLY formed local support group is organising its first get-together to raise awareness on chronic myeloid leukemia (CML).

Talks will be thrown in for the benefit of CML patients at the event at the Kuala Lumpur Hospital tomorrow organised by Max Family.

CML patients asking the doctors questions on the illness at the CML Day: Chit Chat and Fun.

Max Family president Dr Abd Razak Muhamad said CML is a disease of the bone marrow producing too many white blood cells that progresses slowly and occurs during or after middle age.

In providing support and helping patients know more about the disease, The Max Foundation local representative Ong Mei Ching, who emceed at the recent CML Day: Chit Chat and Fun afternoon, gave an introduction on the disease.

Max Family welcomed haematologist and lecturer from University Malaya Medical Centre Dr Haris Rahman who spoke on CML.

He gave an overview of CML and shared the basics patients need to know to help them understand and cope with the disease.

Max Family president Dr Abd Razak Muhamad said CML was a disease in which the bone marrow produces too many white blood cells, progressing slowly and occurs during or after middle age.

Consultant haematologist from the Ampang Hospital Dr Chang Kian Meng also shared the platform when he spoke on CML: Now and Future, providing an overview on the overall management and treatment of CML as well as the future direction for patients living with CML.

Dr Abd Razak, a CML patient, said the support group is a platform for patients to share their problems and raise issues and concerns on CML.

“We are trying to establish a voice for CML patients so that they can come together, meet and talk about their problems.

“It is important for CML patients out there to know that there is such a group and they can turn to us for help and better understanding of what they are going through,” he said.

“We also want to organise more talks and have family days and outings for those in the group,” he said.

To contact Max Family, call 012-787 8084 (Dr Abd Razak), 013-363 3769 (Raja Noradzmi), 012-364 3168 (Shikin) or 012-303 8616 (Mei Ching).

Previous Blog : PArt 3

an updates.... Monday November 27, 2006 - 12:33pm (SGT)

too many things nak update..

Chit Chat & fun with CML Day
The Bizz today n future
Me and myself burned internally......
Life i always wanted
Idea Vs Idle
The Nursery
The MoneyPenny
The idea of writing abt...
The people who is fren ...
The person who i used to be fren ..
I am afraid if....
They who dunno , and me who is the one...

does it seem need me to really sit n write.....
i dunt know but lots more to update ...

but seem i am lost, where shud i start....

- The N-

updates....n more news : Friday November 24, 2006 - 10:28pm (SGT)

An Interview...
- attended the interview last Friday as per scheduled, hubby send me to there with a courage of advice n motivational spirit...it went quite well where i felt comfortable after all...just i dunt feel really cant take it if i get the job coz i know i am not that suitable for it.....coz as the interviewer told me i have all the requirement they wanted in me esp in marketing and administration field...but i lack of fashion, simple say that i am not flair in fashion....yes i am , really i am not in this while...never have experience too....but at the end of the interview she has offer me a position of real estate exec, in same company....i will consider the post happily ...i will ....however she said she still will consider me still for the brand exec.....heheh ....the next day my informer told me that i will not get the brand exec... but they now in middle of considering me for real estate exec.....
but i still waiting for the offer from TMF, Seattle ....for now we seem so damn bz with Chit Chat & Fun with CML , where is not more than 24hrs to go.....

Chit Chat & fun with CML Day:
Orthopedic Clinic, HKL (2-6pm) - things are ready as per discuss n plan n we are all excited ....this evening, hubby, Dr Razak, Mei Ching, Abg Radzmi n I went to the venue to do pre-arrangement....hubby is going to be the technical guy for the event....so he is taking care of all AV n Technical requirement throught out the event....n after all everything was fairly done ....he seem to be happy and the e-backdrop done by Fan look great with his touch....great combination ..heheh..n the venue as well look nice when we arranged part of the chairs, panel board, tables for registartion + F&B, ....make all of us excited... and bunting sponsor by a good fren of mine Izham Slash stand nicely at the door...and thanks again to Izham Slash who is too kind n generous to sponsor us with cup cake..i pray more ppl in this world will be like him....Malaysia still have great ppl....like Max FAmily comm member, Surya, Izham, Jojo and many more where i cant list all.....but u know who you are....whoever contributed to the event succes....we thank you ...keep this spirit in our heart....in our heart...
2more we will fetch Mei Ching at SS2 and heading to HKL around 8am....n pick up sponsor choc cake from Surya, another good fren of mine....hehehheheh then to Ortho Clinic for the event....where it is less than 24 hrs... from now..i just called up the media (KOSMO, BH, MH, Malay Mail...) alhamdulillah depa mai ...hehehe sonok gila rasanya....so all 11 media/press will be there to cover all ...STAR, Life Long Magazine, Sin Chew Press, Oriental Daily, and another 3 press...n again my task to handle all press throught out the event. And finally, we will have CML patient + guess, haematologist, VIP, sponsorship and volunteers. to be together for the 1st time in Malaysia....oh such a great moment i guess....heheheh so total up will be abt 148 ppl....OMG we so happy that at least we manage to contribute something to society who on need....so i will packing few things else than what i have done and send to HKL today....siccors+ T-shirt for comm members, signage and even checklist....hehehheh pray tat things will run smooth and success.....at least no major hick-up, even last few days Mei Ching & I have to think hard how to handle all those 'last-minute-parasit'....oh no no we cant afford to have any ....but in any event there must be missing items....hehhehehe....for CML & Max Family.....i wish i have give the best..Jatt & I suppose...

Work+ Bizz
its been a bz week for both of us....with some project in hand and some in pipeline...we really have to struggle and die to secure few deals...and as you guys know, i am still trying hard to get the deals for the HRN, a recruitement agency where i use to help hubby run it....for a moment i feel about give up but than put back all energy and push myself again on it...so i walk still for a while n trying again to get the oil..... advice from hubby how to 'try again'...and never ever get fed up, upset thru wat ever challenge we face sometimes bring a smile to me ...thru the day....he is strong enuff ..i am lucky tat he keep help me out from this dark....he really loved me the way he teached me how to do things esp when i think its to diff + diff, and its over....with all the gud word, advice and courage from hubby, here i am still trying hard, being smart n one day i shud be paid for this ....one day....

Marriage life...
dunt need that many words if i wana describe about it...i just feel truely happy, fulfilled and also meaningful....all was so excellent, even there is ups n downs in daily life......i use to think it as a learning process and adaption to it after being alone for 28 yrs....so being 5 mths be with him, i will says it was a really great moments in life n also precious...i have no enuff words to tell n may be i am not suppose to share tat much on line ....just i will say that i thanks Allah for all given n taken ....its all perfect , where i have 2 make it even great....i love him the way he is n he is not....

Problem..
can be settled...Jatt says that dunt think much on the problem think how to solve the problem figure it out n let do it.....solved it just a bonus on top of process to get it solve...recently i realize that my panic attack comes n goes again...may be i too depressed, worry, sad n less focus on thing i suppose to, but keep thinking on unnecessary....too bad i let it control my brain....but since tat Jatt is helping me to overcome tat attack ...help me to handle and slowly manage tat....

Love Him...
i have no reason not to love him.....and i love him even more day by day....

got to go n rest for 2moro event.....
will update on wat happened esok.... daaaa gudnite....

-The N-

Good News....after so long silent : Thursday November 16, 2006 - 02:49pm (SGT)

hello my blog....damn miss u coz i really have no time n no great story (not necessary great story then i put a posting rite?)...but today i have something as sooth news for all waiting ....

there are 2 great news tat make me feel good n also feel at least i have done something with it.....

12.15pm i recieved a call from a land line strange number ...but i tot of that might be CML patients who want to register for the event on this 25 Nov. To my surprise, its actually a call for the interview, for a post recently apply thru one of the online job advertiser ....so the interview session will be at 10am 2moro at Kelang.... i just said i will attend it as i am now looking for a job.... if there is one suit me....it is Brand Exec position for one of the footwear industry....i dunt know whats make the job relevant to me coz i never been in fashion industry n never show any interest in that , i prefer most in education and consultancy industry....but i will consider the offer if it is rite for me....the job needs me travel a lots , local n overseas....n one condition is 'must be flair in market industry' hhhrrrmmmmm its sounds weird for me ...but to say in shoes it is not....i love shoesssssssssss love shoessssssssssssssss...hehehhe..if i get this job so i will be working in 'shoe' industries.......hehhehe heaven heaven....Ok let be serious a bit.....please pray for me ....gud luck pray..... so now i am goin to study what a brand exec shud do, this is basicly about a what i suppose to do if i manage to get the job.........abt footwear industries.... that company details, n at least a type of shoes in market, trend today.... , company product range....
ok latest information i got from the informer.....i will be interview by 5 person (a malay lady n rest is the chinese and also MD of the company, English Man...) fuhhh tough babe....basicly my task a shoe buyer from supplier for the company as a line products....and also i need to travel to China as a job requirement...hhrrrmmmm it is not the best part yet...the best part is as this company serve Malaysia market , there is no malay yet to hold this position...so this is 1st time they get malay candidates ....its a 5 days work n office hr...i will be sent for a training a month a shop as a sales gurl, then an assistant buyer for a month n then later will be decide as brand exec........long journey babe......n the informer told me tat my boss to be is someone who really 'bad-working-man' huhuhuu challenging ....challenging...too challenging...i just wana try my best of all....and Kelang will be my next pit stop ....huhuhuh just pray things will be my way soon.....TRY TO DO IT.....TRY TRY TRY

The second news tat put me on smile is offer from Ms Ong, MaxStation Malaysia, The MAX Foundation(TMF) of Seattle. She said , she would like to offer me an asst/ one of the MaxStation Malaysia else than her. She alone cant cope sometimes with all the job, she need to serve all 14 countries in MAlaysia and sometime need to do report to Seattle HQ.....so now with a grows of numbers in patient who recieved GIPAP program for CML patients, she think it is good that she need an assistant or someone else ....to be here in Malaysia..... to work together with her...so after all we knew each other, she found out that i might be a correct person to hold the position. TMF now is considering the new person for Malaysia...i told her i would love to have that position as it will be the part of my dreams before ....to join a NGO's (non profits esp)...in charity or voluntary job.....i ask her why me? She told me that all these while she has seen all my work when i joined MaxFamily since June, and i am committed to the group as we also organizing our 1st event soon....i said honestly that was great news......n i never think tat all this while she look at my work details like tat...yes i am committed to Max Family as a CML patient support group.......as my 'return contribution' to society for all i got in my life......so this is oppurtunity for me to pay lil contribution in my life ..my father once said that as a human we cant only get, we must give as well....it is doesnt matter whether in what form it is, but ur honestry n ur pure heart for wat u do...i still remember it clearly......so i said i would love to work with TMF and thank you for the things tat she saw in me...... i also never believed this....hhrrmmm ppl see me so they know better than what i knew abt myself better......

i just wory...izzit a great news for me only or ....i dunt know....
dunt know.....never know......i prefer TMF offer more than Brand Exec position...in many ways that i trust i have a rite to believe.....i wish i got TMF position....

Good luck for me for me for me.......chiow.......

-The N-

Previous Blog : PArt 2

Me today..... Friday November 10, 2006 - 05:47pm (SGT)

since last week when the phone ring or there is tone warning me the sms is received, my heart beat will move faster than i can ....its may be fr my bro asking me to feed him or my mum who asking me to feed them....yes they depend on me...n who feed me? who? tell me now....this si no freedom living today nad i dunt see tomorrow will rise for me....this really tired feeling for keep me feel sad , worry and depressed.....i cant tell that i can no longer feed them....it is a NO NO at all......no such way.......i just keep telling them wait while i get them the 'rice'....i will always there to feed them...but how ? feed them while me myself also 'hungry'.... its very tough but even tougher nowdays for me.... imagine tat ur bro telling you he dunt have money to eat n u at home have food to eat....well shud i ignore saying tat i dunt have money...so where he end up to.....be a thives for a bowl of rice....this is yr 2006....i cant allow this even allow him to think tat .....never....they depend on me...i cant sit nor stand facing this....cry? tired of all tat...no more tears....no more..... and now i am afraid of everything....afraid ....to afraid...even to smile even to cry even to feel bit happiness....i am not dare too.......i am in really problem....
i cant sleep ...can eat...have no mood of anything...and it affected me n him too......i am guilty and i know he kinda take it...he try to understand but untill when? he has his own limit where i shud take a close reminder to myself abt whatt i done.....i am not alone anymore in this life ...i am a wife so my responsibilities is for him too.... i really 'sick'...but then....OMG...
i am panic attacked almost of the time when i think my situation now and i am really feel bad about what i am facing now....it does worry me much.....shoud i put a full stop, then i will feel guilty the rest of my life.....n it is again a NO NO .....so where and where ? what and what tell me?
may be i shud have done something i am not suppose to ....n i knew this is the risk i may have if i choose this...n now i am facing this....ppl cant understand...ppl dunt know how much pain i have here rite now.....it even pain than the pain itself....when i stuck in this kinda situation, i have known better what i can be n end up with wat....
yes i am moody, i am at anger for the smallest stupid mistake, i am angry at nothing i am supposed to, i am sensitive, i am depressed, worrying about nothing, think such a shit out of nothing, i am lost, demotivated, i am dispointed with myself, i wana be alone....but i realize it doesnt help me to solve the problem at all.... it doesnt cure the pain n it doesnt help me to ease the burden on my shoulder....somehow it make things worse...but then...aarrgghhhh
i realize sometimes i talk too much but i failed to deliver wat i am suppose to deliver...somehow....i wanted to but now with all situation i faced now...? do i lazy? maybe? yes? No? ....useless? yes? May be? No? nahhhhh maybe ....partly as daughter or sister i guess i am.....
he is getting disappointed with me....i know but as nice person he try not to show....somehow i understand his feeling...i am so sorry......yeah i am not that gud ....but how hard i try, i cant give what i cant....
run away from this problem sure will make this worse than i have now....
i want to settle..at least part of this by tomorrow......even things is not working my way...i gonna be ok..i have been there but i dunno how i solved all the problem before...but seem now i am damn shit stupid to even think about get rid from the problem.....
if it is written that it is not gonna be me.......i take it ...its not mine...

now, maybe i have to choose whatever i never think i shud choose one day.....due to my previous choice i made.....
i shud got paid......


2 Day : Tuesday November 7, 2006 - 06:25pm (SGT)

arrghhh everything not in place when i really want all ...arrgghhhh
everything wrong with me now n then....
its not me anymore here....i am diff person that i lost somehow in many ways lately...
arrggghhhh...help help help.....
i start to questioning myslef of many possible i can.....
i believed tat was what i suppose to ask before since long.....
arrghhhhhh
i need to change ....change from wat i am now.....
TBA...i stuck - paused - stop - .......

something for everything... Friday November 3, 2006 - 11:01pm (SGT)

i dunt know wat exactly i wana write here today , tonite....but i really wana write something .....to ease this pain feeling all these few days..... while spending time alone at this hour ...i guess this husband and wife giving a space to each other to have own quality time...i can use this time to read, to sleep, to listen to 'my_music' or i can write something here...n i choose to write while listening to my favorite one....while Jatt is having his Tai-Chi class tonite with all frens, i am having my sweet time here....smell of candle and windy surrounding....ohhh so nice n 'melankolik'.....for me giving such a space to each other is the good practice...esp for us who attached almost of the time....
looking to my calendar , i notice tat, this coming 18 November will be 1 yr my father passed away...i just cant help to say that i only feel that it is only yesterday....still feel n still smell ....im not over it yet ..i am still me....with him that i love n miss forever
sometimes my self esteem n self believe is too high n in the other hand,it just empty when i really need it.....i need it to make sure i can work properly...now i am facing a problem when i end up feel down n feel give up....by knowing my self in career, i am not that kinda person...i dunt know whether my spirit just has gone with my pain from previous job......but i really need to FOCUS in this job...i need IT...i need to help my self coz i wana help everyone else....pls pls pls...
my married life is really great day by day....he such a nice husband and he is cool enuff when we face a problem...i am a big liar if i say i agree everything with him....well we both have differences and sometimes we c thing differently...in diff view n understanding...its natural coz the up bringing in us is diff since our 1st day born in this world. but we never argue but we discuss wisely ...and make me happy....yes sometimes we never solve the matter but i just feel good the way we treat the matters and we respect each other...this is wat i always want in my life....
he is good fren n good enemy to me...well.....be a wife is NOT easy ...me myself hv own conflict n confusing sometimes i myself make...ehhehe well u know me rite?...heheh but i am Thank God that i met such a person....admit that we just not that perfect in many thing, simple say not that stabil in financial and career, but we just take one things at one time.....he has his own way ...n the greatest is he teach me n he manage to change me to be better person i can....n i feel gud abt it....Alhamdulillah...
i am still i am in many ways ...still...hehe even i guess i change accordingly to b better person, but i still old me...i still like to cook ( where i contribute to Jatt stomach development so fast...heheheh) its a satisfaction...
i am still crazy over the books and i still think that all the precious to me...i still hold a long list about book i really wana have.... but i must have money esp nowdays good book need you to invest a lil xtra cost....or else u only get a writer crap n shit all the times, where u found later its only 'cut&paste' from internet... with MPH card member i guess i willing to buy certain book by end of this December....sales is on the way at MPH i heard....and i will check abt it.....
i guess i am having less interest in shoes even i still have to admit i love shoes.....the correct one is i dunt even hv enuff money to buy a new pairs of collection.....its not less interest actually...i still jump into shoe shop whenever i can.... and i...again still follow the trend today closely...i still updating my self abt shoe trend and i still hold long list of shoe to buy...again...long list....arrrgghh the day will come...maybe i am not office gal, so i am not so dress up like i used to before...no high heels no this n tat..
talking abt the office attire, i am now so worse in dressing to work....huhu i always make my self like a 'sales gurl' (well i never say sales gurl have a bad taste...never coz some of them ga-ga look u know)...ok let say i look like Indon maid....(to make it sound worse.....) its always jeans n t-shirt, some times if i am bit rajin i will wear baju kurung, unless there is an appt with client then i will make sure i am ready with everything. ohhh tat was me...so i guess from now on i shud dress up to work....NO NO selekeh type ...must put back my make up, my off attire n shoes....yes yes yes...maybe tat way shud make me feel better n motivate me as well. Yes...i will do....coz i am worth of being someone like tat...y i shud let my bad experience in previous job , be someone who is not me at all..... i am career woman...

hse cleaness is my priority....always...now i have another interest else than cooking, music, fishing and books, i now like to make sure my hse always clean n clean n clean.... nice interior design ...as wat i can afford lah...sometimes u dunt need an xpensive furniture or wat...u just need to know how to utilize all wat u have in hand... how to arrange to make sure u hv space n its doesnt danger ur life...its important rules too know that...(i know sometime Jatt cant help to show his face.....'apa yang kotor ya...tak nampak pun sampah...?'...sorry Yang, u marry me for a whole package....heheheh)..

circle of our fren are various....while do listing for open hse invitation, we realize tat we have many races in list...n we feel happy abt we are able to b fren to each other...we can accept everyone as they are nice person...i am glad tat i hv a chance to be in this great circle of fren....old, young, chinese, indian, malay, muslim, buddhist, christian, free thinker, man, woman, married, divorce, single, rich, poor, fat, skinny, healthy, u sick, dark or fair, tall or short... WE NEVER CARE....as long u nice to us..., respect each other, u are most welcome to be our fren... alwyas....coz at the end of the day we just human...we just a small creature.... we glad tat we both have these frens around us....we realy dunt want to talk about who is 'foe' for us caused these ppl dunt even know wat fren for ....how to b fren...

alamak...hubby blk sudah.....have to manja him pulak....
i am coming......coming comingggggg

All about Raya Part II Sunday October 29, 2006 - 05:29pm (SGT)

Its not what i expect it to be and its all frustration...
But anyhow i just thank God that i still manage to bring few happiness in few people hari raya...
With a feeling of frustration ....we drove back to KL last nite n reached here at 6.00am .....It's a tiring hari raya and i really pissed off for certain things...and its really upset me in many ways.. Dunt think i can accept it not let it go...
Its just something i never think it can happened during hari raya.....this raya a a
to my hubby, i promised you the best hari raya as i am also excited as to celebrate this raya as 1st raya together...i am so sori deep from my heart.... its beyond my control ...
I tried the best i can give to everyone in my life...but i just a failure to many unknown reasons y???
i am in deep frustration...its tiring.. its unexceptable....its really shame...
if you guys outhere wonder what had happened.......its not what you think.....its a family matters that always make me dispointed n make me feel stronger n stonger day by day... its written my life has to be that way and i have to take it all......
i am really out of my dream now....i need a break an time to understand ...to heal...to cure n to find ways......
i am tired...zz ZZzZZZZzzzZZzzzZZZzZ

All about Raya Saturday October 21, 2006 - 04:14pm (SGT)

Tonite we will goin hometown for Hari Raya Aidilfitri (Syawal al-Eid) celebration with my family at Jitra Kedah after buka puasa gathering at hubby's sister hse at Residency 9, Kota Damansara. We actually have this gathering due to 2 occasions, where today 21 Oct 2006 is my hubby birthday and we also celebrating this Ramadhan with Abg Haidar & Kak Sofia (hubby's bro stayed in Singapore). They seldom visit Malaysia, well life so bz with work, n understand that hubby told me Datt quite hard to get leave. Well everyone knows about Malays survive there.
Since married, I never met Abg Datt & Kak Aina Family coz they are staying oversea, just got news thru my mum in law or thru msges. I never met them personally - yes i have 3 brother n sister in law, one is Kak Aida + Abg Jamal> 2 children ; Aisha & Batrisya, Kak Aina + Abg Asnadi> no kid, stayed in Boston, US and Abg Datt+ Sofia > one kid;Matin and one more to come by this January 2007. Jatt is the youngest in the family. So I only met Kak Aida where we use to call her as 'Akak'. We live nearby also.
Coz Datt is coming home for raya, and we will celebrate raya at my hometown n partly hubby hometown, so we decide to have buka puasa with Datt and family. So, this is my 1st time meeting Datt's family. I heard they both are nice person. I’m excited for this evening meeting. Sofia is Singaporean Chinese who later convert to Muslim. And I have bought Matin a small car as a present. And also bought small present to Akak's daughter for hari raya. I hope they will like all the gifts.

After buka puasa we will slowly heading to Kedah. Everyone told me that its realy bad jam heading North thru PLUS Highway. Since last nite. Well.......understood that every yr this is the situation and as report in Utusan Online today, on 3rd day of OPS Sikap, there were 53 soul sacrifice. Well.....nothing to say...I wish we will have safe journey back to hometown nad return here later on Saturday.

All my sibling was there, at my mum hse. Adam has arrived on Friday morning fr JB, and just now my second sister; Shida just arrive at 2.30 from Kota Bharu. And it’s only us not yet there. I can feel the happiness in my mum voice just now...she happy that all her children gathered for this raya. My cousin bro and family landed at KLIA fr Italy this morning and will only heading back to my hse on 2nd raya, they will celebrate the 1st day at Perak, at his in-law hse. I just want to make her happy as much as i can, coz i am not doin gud enuff for my late father...and i regret about it. i will always wish 'he' is here with all of us... for me raya is not only a winning day for Muslims....its about forgiveness, love, gathering, sharing and everything....its all about relationship value that we win thru Ramadhan al-Mubarak....we celebrate on Syawal al-Eid.
As my 1st time celebrating this raya as a wife, I am so excited in many ways....if last time I will ask forgiveness in the morning on the 1st raya day from my father, this raya i also will do same thing, asking a forgiveness from a man, but now i am asking from a man, who is my hubby...then my mum and then later from everyone....forgiveness is just something you cant define whether you give or get it.....just soul satisfaction ....N must remember not only Syawal we are talking about forgiveness, Jatt taught me 'forgiveness is everyday'....and I always try to do it before I sleep everynite. Also feel thankful...
This hari raya is different for me for many reasons I guess...1st is becoz my father is no longer here for all of us....i am sure all of us feel the 'feeling of losing' but I hope no one will spoilt the day ...with a hope that all my sibling keep pray for late father, we wana celebrate this as it is. 2nd, as a wife I’m happy & thankful that I have an opportunity to be with someone meaningful in this life. Celebrating it for 1st time make me feel excited...not to compare with last years, like I never thanks God,...its not at all....what I mean is the the situation feeling and expectation I guess…Over the last years. I am the ‘maid’ of the hse during raya time. I am the chef, I am the waitress and I am the one who will make sure all at place; simple say fund raiser….I try as possible as much to make sure that raya will be the best moment for all in the hse. Raya visit? I am not doin it that much except to my aunty hse (near my hse, she is my late dad’s eldest sister)..and sometimes my uncle who also my late dad’s elder brother, coz he is sick and bed ridden for years. I am not visiting not bcoz I dunt want, just I am ‘a maid’. So I am bz at home. But this yr I think I will pay a visit to many relatives and close fren hse. This is to introduce Jatt to them and I also will visit Jatt’s family hse too. Where he will introduce me to them. Last time we not able to visit everyone after the wedding ceremony due to our short holiday. And we plan to have a nite stay at Jatt’s uncle hse, Pak Su at Taman Uda Alor Setar. Jatt’s says that he will always think Pak Su is just same like Arwah Abah. Pak su’s family is a nice family and I am very comfortable with it. We plan to visit everyone as this raya is also 1^st raya for Jatt since quite long he never celebrate this way. He uses to celebrate with frens for quite long ….n now he got reason for ‘return’ to normal celebration. We are excited for it.

This yr both of us is quite tight with financial situation, due to our wedding last June (even it’s a simple one, still its money), me hospitalize, and slow business lately…so we just spend necessary for everything. Like me, I will definitely prepare for my siblings all new clothes as I bought what I can only afford this time. I guess its enuff for Al-Eid. As a major preparation every yr I will make sure I have bought them new clothes, a budget for food n necessary for guest and also ‘green angpow’ for relatives and kids. But this yr will be just so-so…. Coz we celebrate the raya at my mum hse, I am not prepare much things at my hse. Coz we also just move in last June, seem all is still new. And I constantly decorate n make sure hse clean, so I am not doin much for raya. I also prepare few cookies and bought some. I give to both mum in-laws where I try from my 1^st day of marriage to be fair to ‘every –mum’. Our new clothes? Nope….i still has few baju kurung where I made last time during my wedding. And it is still new. So I decide to wear that one – no waste. No point of having new one, coz normally I seldom wear baju kurung here in KL except for certain occasion. I only bought Jatt a shirt as a birthday present, so he can use that as baju raya too. For us it is enuff, the most important is we will celebrate this raya together with everyone we love. So both of us just spend wisely for everything.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri Saturday October 21, 2006 - 01:26am (SGT)

To all my frens (& foe if any),

I wish all of my Muslim frens .....

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri &
Maaf Zahir & Batin

Hati2 driving wherever you go..
Check the cholesterol...on every of your food..
Spend wisely...

From,
CKiN & Jatt

Selamat Hari Jadi Hubby -37 Saturday October 21, 2006 - 01:17am (SGT)

Dear Hubby a.k.a Jatt

Happy Birthday to You ....
I always pray that we will share this life together till the end..
I always pray that we will have each other no matter what we are...
I pray to God ,,please listen to me ...for giving us as many chances
For us to be the best of each other...
Best wish for you...
May this birthday is the happiest & meaningful you have in life...
and i always LOVE You!!
Love, CKiN

We need a helping hand ....you can be the one :Thursday October 19, 2006 - 03:00pm (SGT)

ANNOUNCEMENT FOR ALL CML PATIENTS!!
DONATION IN ANY FORM ARE ALMOST WELCOME!!!

Are you a Chronic Myeloid Leukemia (CML) patient? Does a member of your family have CML? Does one of your friends have CML? Do you really understand CML?

You’re not alone!

We are here to support, share experiences and learn to live better with CML. We are inviting you to a talk & spend time with haematologists and other patients, which will help all of us to better understand, cope and live better.

Date : Saturday 25th November, 2006
Time : 2.00-6.00 pm
Venue : Orthopaedic Clinic, Hospital Kuala Lumpur

rogramme:
2.00 – 2.45 Registration

2.46 – 3.00 Introduction to The Max Foundation (TMF) & Max Family -
By Ms. Ong Mei Ching, MaxStation Malaysia, TMF

3.01 – 3.35 What is CML? - Speaker: Dr. Haris Rahman, Haematologist & Lecturer, Pusat Perubatan Universiti Malaya (PPUM)

3.36 – 4.15 CML: Now and Future - Speaker: Dr.Chang Kian Meng,
Consultant Haematologist, Hospital Ampang

4.16 – 4.30 Tea Break

4.31 – 4.45 Patient Testimonial Sharing

4.46 – 5.00 Patient Care Giver Testimonial Sharing

5.01 - 5.30 Q&A Session

5.31 – 5.40 Closing Speech and Souvenir Giving Ceremony –
By Dr. Abd. Razak Muhamad, President of Max Family

5.41 - 6.00 Photography Session & Closing

All forms of donation are almost welcome and appreciated. Your small help will be the big meaning to those who need a help. our helping hand will be a shelter and comfort for those who inneed.

Please register before 12 Nov 2006.For further details, please contact:

Miss Shikin: 012-364 3168

Rindu ....yang terindah : Thursday October 19, 2006 - 12:52pm (SGT)

rindu pada seseorang
yang mungkin takkan dapat dihurai perkataan
seribu kalimah takkan merungkai kerinduan ini
dimengertikan hati dan akal hamba-Nya
ditafsir seribu pendita bahasa cendekiawan dunia
diterjermah bahasa apa pun sekali
masih tetap kerinduan itu
masih menjadi rindu yang satu

rindu
betapa sakitnya kesakitan ini
lebih dari merindui kekasih cinta hati
yang telah pergi meninggalkan
dalam lagi rindu ini terhadapmu
kesakitan yang akhirnya membuah kepuasan
kerana rindu ini terindah

rindu
lebih rindu dari masa nan lalu
kerana masa bersama mu yang kukutip
lebih kurindui
dari hari hari terindah bagi ku
setelah ku tahu kau telah pergi
kerinduan ini paling berharga kerana
ini rindu terindah selalu untukku

rindu
sehingga kini masih aku mencari
untuk mengubat betapa rindunya hati
rindu segalanya...
tawa tangis suka duka
kata senyum wajah dan bayangmu
masa nan lalu yang pergi membawa rindu kini
yang berat untukku melalui

ayah...
kalau lah rindu ini dapat ditukar dengan airmata
sudah pasti lama ianya diubati...tapi tak mungkin walau pun selaut tangisku
ayah...
kalau rindu ini terpadam kerana potretmu
sudah tentu kubalutnya di seluruh tubuhku agar kau selalu dekat
tapi aku pasti ianya lebih menyakitkan dari mengubati rinduku
ayah....
kalau sejuta kata ampun maaf dapat mengubati rindu
akan kuzikir selalu untukmu
namun, sekelip kusedari ...aku mensia siakan masa
kasih antara kita bukan ini buktinya


ayah...
hanya doa dan salam dari hati yg rindu
akan menghiasai antara kita
kerana doa ini
menjadikan rindu kita
rindu yang paling indah...

ayah...
kuberdoa dalam rindu yang terindah

Anak,
19 Oktober 2006, Petaling Jaya

blog....nak tulis lah ni: Friday October 13, 2006 - 04:05pm (SGT)

ok...cemana nak mula...errmmmm byk ni nak update okkkk
now we list down the main point wat i want to write ...

current business a.k.a job
fasting month
preparation for raya
balik kampung @ Kedah
social life @ money wise
sad story @ shud i tell?
emotional feeling
people oh! people
buka posa together

oklah tu among the list i realy wanted to upate and write...huhh too many as i always mentioned...can ker? tak tahu lah napa susah sgt lately nak write things in blog? TIME? oh no no....masa selalu ada , aku jer yg tak mengadakan nya sebaik mungkin... MALAS? yeaahhh its contributed to my delay....IDEA? ada idea tp tu lahhhh nak mula tuh...button tak function....tak 'cargas' like before....
someone said i am down emotionally n physically now...so i need to wake up...huhhhuuh i guess so ...i am different me by 'me' in me..tah lah susah lah if like this.....
ok ok i will write to help me feel better...i guess i need more books, more reading and cooking to make me alive...alive n alive.... rasa diri mcm tak cukup vitamin plak rasanya....payah ooooo....

to b cont'd.....

too many lines ...to write : Monday October 9, 2006 - 05:19pm (SGT)

i will write....many lines i suppose to put here as my thoughts....but somehow even i am 24 hrs connected to internet access, i still not manage to write as what i want..

izzit me> Time? lazy?
no i will start write to make me alive..
i need to wake up and i need all done......
for the sake of who loves me...

for the one who i love....

2nd Time OnTow @ WLY $@!( : Friday September 29, 2006 - 03:25pm (SGT)

huhuhu buka posa dlm keter....car breakdown lg smlm kat kota Damansara (abt 10 min fr hse) huhuu dr kul 4.48 sampai 7.40 tgu tepi jln....AAM reached there abt 5.25pm but only tow us home around 7.50pm coz they also buka posa 1st....tp satu menda realized abt AAM staff..they talk nicely...they are nice staff...we experienced 2 times car breakdown and found out all the AAM staff who on duty are nice person.....AAM should get this praise....

so last nite hubby & I buka puasa minum air dlm keter (org AAM tlg bw hubby pergi beli air)...aku muka dah tak manis walaupun Jatt beli air yg aku suka > teruklah aku ni...sbb smlm letih skit but JAtt kata kener sabar bulan posa mmg mcm ni....byk dugaan....aku ni jenis tak sabar skit so mmg nak meletup lah jugak...no mood at alll...(jatt tuh sabar dia tak tahu nak cakap.....vitamin sabar apa dia mkn)

kalau sesapa tak tahu cemana rasa buka posa tepi jln keter breakdown....i tell u best gilak ooo....dgn panas, letih....org lalu lalang memacam...best gilak mana nak dapat cr experience mcm ni...tell u ....panas dlm hati lg panas dr enjin keter....
aku pun tak tahu apa masalah WLY lately...dah byk sen tabur kat dia , asyik2 meragam plak....ssh lah like this......bukan nak blame tp kesian JAtt lah asyik2 WLY meragam.... but yes then we hv no choice lah .....nak wat cemana....diam jer lah.....kang aku bebel lebih2 kener plak...huuhuhu its hard to tell how i am taking & facing this ....acceptance...huhuhh

will be cont soon.......

Slow Mood..... Thursday September 28, 2006 - 12:14pm (SGT)

it has been a slow week ...since last 2 weeks , for me...its not becoz of Ramadhan or anything else...it just bcoz of business and it just a emotion ....nothing than that...just me and myself...

i am cracking my head to find ways how to boost this bizz...it seem so slow ...i have a lots of vacancies but seem no suitable candidates to fit the position. It turn off my day when nothing i can do....i am also LOST a bit since my resignation....i am weak...demotivate...

and also compiling an ideas with me.....any ideas cross my head...did u think people buy ideas? can sell arrr? i also now looking for a grant scheme that can help me....

now i am woring of doin a paper work...
1- House of AKAL (HoA)
2- Saturday :Talk & Confess (STC)

maybe i can show the ideas to someone trusted and talk....no empty one ...i wish one day i can materialize this.......esp HoA
welllll...please gimme some ideas and spirit.....motivation....strength...

Ramadhan ini...........segalanya...pertama bg semua org... Sunday September 24, 2006 - 06:19pm (SGT)

Ramadhan al_Mubarak tiba lagi.......syukur alhamdulillah ada one more chance to feel the barakah of Ramadhan.... dan hari ni all Muslim in Malaysia will start fast as today is 1st day...as announce by the government on last friday....

This Ramadhan is all ist time for everyone...

Hubby & I welcome this Ramadhan as our 1st time fasting together as husband and wife. I used to have last Ramadhan alone ....where i used to tapau food from office and have it there, and later went home and sleep till the next day....for many years alone ..and during weekend i will bz arrange buka puasa with frens and sometime cooked simple menu and settled at home...but this yr we , hubby and I will buka puasa at home and may be sometimes with relatives & frens....today i cook simple dishes for him (but he like the menu of coz)...and a type of simple kueh too. ...just for two of us....by the time i am writing this, i am done and only waiting for the time ...my buka puasa is very simple as i only drink a water and one / two kueh ...later at 9 or 10 i will than eat heavy meal (merangkap makan sahur lah tuh sbb i mmg tak bgn sahur...) but hubby will take all....then he later will sahur at 12 o'clock and above (bini tak bgn ...sian laki)...tapi oklah dah mutual understanding...so thats all abt me n hubby for this ramadhan...so kali ni dah ada mak mentua n ipar duai....where we plan to have satu sessi buka puasa bersama....before me and hubby heading back to hometown for Aidilfitri...(ishh lambat lagi tuh...)...my bro in law Dat and wife; Sofia will be coming from Singapore on 21 October (it's Jats birthday too) for Hari raya celebrating ...so i plan to buka puasa with mak kina, mama, ayah li, akak's family and dat's family together...Insyaallahhh....tengoklah nak bincang ngan mak kina how.....

Mak and adik2 at kampung also 1st time puasa without arwah ayah....sayu juga td bila terkenang kan arwah....girang arwah bila Ramadhan tiba...bulan Agung katanya...penuh barakah...we still remember at this hr he will go to PAsar RAmadhan for 'juadah berbuka posa' and everyone will list down what we wanna eat ....every yr if i balik kg i will order murtabak and air tebu from him (actually i never order sbb he knew i like that ....so arwah dah tahu apa nak beli for me)...he will do same routine 30 days during Ramadhan....and this Ramadhan no one will forget how he treat everyone nice....and just now my lil sister sms me how she missed my late dad during Ramadhan...she cried but i just advice 'do necessary' if she missesd him ....i am almost tears but i already tired of crying coz i missed my dad....so i need to be cool for my sister ...my strengh for her too.....so this Ramadhan all of us welcome Ramadhan for the 1st time without Arwah Ayah....how we missed all those years...but as my hubby said to me....this is written...since our 1st day...all promised all delivered...so byk kan sabar and banyakkan bersedekah ...barakah...

Updates:
1- I am settled with the responsibility given as the eldest to settle my late dad haji thingy...Alhamdulillah syukur sgt...sebak jugak masa akad upah haji that nite ...a feeling that i cant really describe how and what.....a relief also...(i cried inside)...i pray that the haji that we did for him will be delivered as complete as Haji.....Insyaallah...

2- now i only understand ....someone has misunderstanding about my last post....its not for anyone..as per say ...its a family matters that borders me and i really cant help of feel angry....i am so sorry to hubby for putting him in dilemma with my last posting.... its ok that he think that way.....but hopefullay this is not last Ramadhan for us so we can still ask for forgiveness....if this is last Ramadhan or any last chance for us (we both) to say in any oppurtunities we have, my last posting is not for anyone ..its only my family matters after all..... we are sorry that if anyone feel so....

3- Bizz seem a bit slow...but i am just can get my rythm back ...just a bit on track since last resignation....fuhhh its too long where i used to 'sleep' from me...from who i am...thanks hubby for always wake me up....

4- else than that...nothing much ...just normal life for us.....happy with what we have and dunt have...we just Thank God with this gift coz how hard life for us now, we smile and we alhamdulillah....

to all ..Selamat Ramadhan al-Mubarak, semoga memperolehi Barakah...insyaallahh...

coz of money ...... Monday September 18, 2006 - 11:13pm (SGT

in this world, coz of money...fren can be someone who back stabbing u ..in today life, a brother can kill you silently coz its all abt money...coz of money, human lost the respect, lost the brain, lost the the other side of them....they only can show who they are ....when the real things relates to money....it will show who they are ...to you.....

reminder to me: knowing ppl by testing them on money wise....and please for those who is 'rich' with MONEY...you can buy anything but not ME...

i am poor, but none of your dollars and cents can BUY ME in ANYWAYS>>>>>>>>>

NOT TODAY TO TEST ME : Wednesday September 6, 2006 - 02:00pm (SGT)

TODAY I REALLY ANGRY...

SHUD I CRY, OR LAUGH OR WAT??? PLEASE TELL ME HOW SHUD I HANDLE THIS...

TELL ME NICELY SO I CAN UNDERSTAND ....HOW ...WHAT ...

I AM SADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

PLEASE DUNT TELL ME THAT I AM OK/ OR WILL BE OK...

updates..... Sunday September 3, 2006 - 10:07pm (SGT)

1- Ride on JBQ1200 : ride on the bike...his bike....wowww its great and fun experience with him....my 1st time to ride with my hubby on his HD .....his HD is now up and running......i never feel this before and i am addicted to it.....i am.....to my surprised, i am 1st lady to ride with......what a nice chance i have...feel the wind, feel the feeling all the bikerz have...and the best i am with my hubby.....

2- We On Tow:>WLY4192+hubby+me>'on tow' last friday nite 12.15 from Jln Lagoon Timur to Jln Klang Lama....huhu WLY4192 never been tow, how he has been down all this while but last nite it was amergency for him...hhuuheheh but yesterday he is up and running too...merajuk kot , jeles kat JBQ1200...sian dia....

3-Great Car Worst Driver: somehow i learned that driver who drive big+luxury+ of course expensive car is just NOTHING more than worst ppl on the road. They only can buy half empty car without no signal/side mirror/no driving license or just they really STUPID DUMB DUMB.... if one day i have moneiesssssssssssssssssssss, i MUST make sure i buy all those equipment come with a car such as signal & side mirror

4-Budget 2007: guys....our PM shud tell all the employer to increase all the staff salary accordingly...due to increase in petrol, taxes, service tax, and more and more...this 2007 budget seems make all teh government servant smile till next budget release...what abt us...all bussiness ppl like us, tiny2 one.....will die if we can survive......

5-HeWhoHasGone-YouKnowWhoYouAre> can i just tell you that i am no longer the gurl u used to know, to hurt...i am a wife to someone that i love so much and we love each other ....i am happy with this wedding...go away and fix your own life...i dunt need you...i dun want u...it all has past ...i am no longer in that story ...it's 'THE END'

Today is just good food day (nasi putih+pekasam bawang goreng+asam pedas+ikan goreng)...so let say thanks God for the food!!!

after a week.....

updates for past one week... Tuesday August 29, 2006 - 09:03pm (SGT)

1- Balik kampung> dari plan selama 3 hari dah jadi seminggu....due too so many things to do+ to settle and to eat (esp for Jatt)...so we stay till Friday morning only we drove back to KL....with really hati yg berat ....sbb ada MAX FAMILY meeting on Saturday@Hematologi Clinic, HKL @ 3.00pm... during our stay, it is so damn hot ..where Jatt memang berpeluh2 mcm kener simbah ayaq...haiyooo kesian sampai kener rashes...(sian Jatt)...hujan tak nampak bayang selepas kenduri kawen my cousin daugther....panas memang sgt panas...so byklah menda jugak aku dah setel masa blk kampung that day...pasal geran motor, pasal ARB punya hal, pasal nursery (ada gossip best), pasal kenduri Kak Ngah + Kenduri Mak teh, ...so syukur lah kepala dah ringan sedikit....at least i do smile now...sempat pergi ke Padang Besar with mum n my sister...fuhhhh gila best jugak brg2 kat sana...murah lah except satu menda yg aku nak sgt2 beli > notebook bag LV...gila sial cantik but the price is RM250, but the retail price as per tag is RM380, so dah discount tinggal RM250...huhhh mahal lg jugak.....last sekali aku ngan muka tak puas hati blk tak beli apa pun kecuali beli brg2 dapur steel....huhuhuh beg LV tu cantik but rasanya kat PStreet lagik best kot price dia....both of us visit PAk Su & family, Pak DIn sefamily & MAk Chom too....heheh so seronok sial ..kalau blk kampung selalu aku rasa mcm dah tak nak dtg KL lagi....sioookkkkk...Jatt also feel lazy nak blk ke KL....hehehe dah tuh....mak asyik masak jer jamu Jatt....pastuh Jatt kata dia rasa mcm semakin 'comel' plaks sekarang...yer lah tuh......

2- Kenduri Kawen (Cousin Daughter)> kata grand....grand lah kot but oklah semua berjalan lancar....met with few family members as our last meeting was during my wedding....some even i dunt have a chance to talk ...that time control , pengantin tuh babe...and we both enjoy lots of food too.... it was a tiring day but fun to be with everyone....so Selamat Pengantin Baru to both bride & bridegroom...and congratulations too...

3- Kenduri KAwen Yanz & Azizul, NRD, Putrajaya> it was on 26 August where they the 1st couple who conduct their wedding reception at NRD Hall (now NRD HQ offer this facilities to public).... wah grand kawan aku ni kawen babe....masuk paper lg gambar si Toyan ni....Toyan ni dulu roomate aku masa kat UiTM Arau (BBA Hons Mktg)...sweet sour hard and happy life we both share lots ...i know her quite well n we both kamcheng.....ingat senang aku nak duduk ngan org sebilik...tu lah fussy sgt aku nih agaknya...she married to this nice guy name Azizul where both used to know each other at workplace (HSBC BAnk Cyberjaya)...i am happy that she married him ...hehheheh only us know y....So to both of them, HAppy Wedding ...Congratulations !!

4-MAx Family Meeting @ HKL 26 August 3.00pm> it was a great meeting where we now plan an event for this year....Fun & Chit Chat with CML plan on 25 Nov 2006....everyone in comittee bz giving ideas, plan things, try our best to make sure this event at least have somethings as contribution to this support group...i was so touched everytime looking at this group with their so high spirit, motivation and energy....they really brave..i am only member who is not CML patient but i am the amazed by them in many ways....they great ppl who talking abt great ideas and things...i am amazed.....

today is tiring day so let do some exercise....smile and smile ...

till the next update...tata...

beautiful day is today : Saturday August 12, 2006 - 11:11pm (SGT)

hello...its quite long since i wrote in here...errmmm such a 'bz b' time for me......adapting new status in my life.....unemployed ...hhehehe but its quite relaxing time esp for my health condition... other than that i am bz...real bz....

updates:

Career> unemployed...but oklah .....tahulah rasa susahnya tak ada kerja tak ada gaji tapi tak sakit hati tak rasa mcm siot .........i unemployed but i hv vacancies to ppl who hungry for job.....ehhh cemana tuh? ok jugak kan.... but like jatt says lah....mcm ada byk peluang depan mata...byk benda blh buat actually...small small one lah kan...so now we (jatt & i) is planning to fully utilize 'us' for money making ...the rite way with rite ppl and rite buss with our capabilities...boleh lah kot....

Streamyx + TELEKOM > suck but lastly Internet up at my liltle home sweet home...jatt feels the heaven of waiting... n me bz also...jaki rasa umah dah ada internet

Curry Mee> today special menu...heheh hubby kata OK (sedaplah kot maksudnya).....so bila buka kedai mkn later i nak make sure one of the menu is curry mee...CKiN Curry Mee (CCM)

Gurl-Hang-Out> meet up with Zaily after so long 'bz b' for both of us....we feel like its not enuff given time to talk abt this n that ..its normal for both of us to talk non-stop , like there is no fullstop in our story...laughing and sometimes seriously discuss about this n that....heaven.......even married life is the best moment i have, but i believed i still need sometimes my time out esp with my buddy....and jatt always agree with the idea of 'space sometimes'..... thanks Yang for the understanding....(dah lama jatt tak pi jamming...)

Wedding Photo> its ready ....hehehhe love it like it....i feel like i just got to know him and to my unrealization, its wedding photo already...wat a fast time goes by us....just met, just engage & just married....hehheheh so fast an i still feel i just fall in love with him...(alamak lari tajuk la....) and one thing i told jatt that i rasa dia handsome masa kami kawen.....actually sekarang pun handsome jugak....tapi masa tuh dia kurus skit....skit jer lah... plus seri pengantin beb....

Balik kampung> next friday with my other two siblings and my niece SArah.....we will attend a cousin daughter wedding, my uni-mate wedding, our wedding ID card registration, few errants related to my bizz at the nursery.....hehheheheh byk nya ....n bayangkan jatt boleh mkn itu ini....mak masak memacam beb...eeii sedapnya.....

Newly born> congrat to our fren Rosli and Suria for newly born Nur Rahmah ....so cute and hope its will be new treasure and very meaningful gift from God....

My Health> since last nite i start to feel the pain on my right back side ..only right side...and today after wake up this evening (tido petang sbb kenyang mee kari)..i feel the pain much harder....huhuhuh.....jgn lah sakit ...jgn lah sakit, penat lah....tak nak mkn ubat...

coz today is beautiful day let smile for everyone...

they just do it...i will pray...like always : Thursday August 3, 2006 - 01:16pm (SGT)

do u feel that sometimes someone back stabbing you.....like just try on u too much...

I really can't understand that sometimes people just never want to realize ....that we MUST thankful with what ever we have in our daily life... start to appreciate this n that.....

hubby teach me how to look one thing bad happened at a posotive view...i learned...n learned ....and now i try to appreciate much about things happened to me...

it is such of frustration when u now facing backstabbing.....where you cant do even much to help yourself...

i just pray for those who has been trying to backstabbed me, now backstabbing me and will again and again........good luck nad God Bless....

Thank God you give me strength and also a brain to keep thinking, thanking and appreciate all good things in my life.... it just a bit 'test' God has put on me so i now became someone who 'alive'.......

i will survive....i will .....

Damn Cool.....tak boleh tido siottttt : Thursday July 27, 2006 - 09:26am (SGT)

this one so damn coolllllll.......

must put hard _ smart work ... must buy items!!!

Mum-in-law hse on sunday... Sunday July 23, 2006 - 05:36pm (SGT)

hello ppl....yo its sunday and i am at my mum in law hse .... drop by with hubby after lunch hr....to settle few things here....pending for quite long.....

while waiting for his 'long business', here i am ....hehheheheh its a free and bonus if can get the Internet connection on weekend nowdays.....heheh seronok.... Streamyx kat umah tak tahu lah thn bila nak up....buusssannn aku tunggu....Jatt lagilah bosan cant do work...mcm kucing nak beranak dia hehehheheh

hot stuff....

Akademi Fantasia 4: what the hell they are doing?? is any person realize that is the waste after all... wake up malaysian wake up..pls pls pls ....change the channel....i am tired ...reality show? ! Sure ??? or just another conspiracy...Ouuucchhhhh!!! me n mum in law always get mad when we talk abt it....(well i admit i watch it and talk abt it....ok ok ok i do watch ....)

One in A million: who is that ppl? they got album dude so y shud b in the competition again and again....hello! kalau dah tak menang last time tak menang lah babe... but i like it just lil bit better than AF4... coz they have Shafinaz ...thats all

ROCKSTAR Supernova: THIS IS REALITY Show.....rockkkk hidup Rosli sekali.....

CT Nurhaliza + Datul K: oh pllllzzz i am mad n tired.....there are so many next best things we need to focus ppl.....MANY i repeat M-A-N-Y....

Me: ok n not...pain still pain even more.....its all abt 'them'...all abt it.....oh pls pls pls i want to go....

oklah chiow.....hubby abt to finish....byeeee

i am backkkkkkk : Thursday July 20, 2006 - 02:34pm (SGT)

hello.....hello everyone

soo sooorryyy for not updating (if you are waiting)....hehheheh

i am bit better ...from the pain ...but other pain replaced...

for everyone who has knew abt the breaking news (TQ who also a CNN) let celebrate...

DAVID> you must buy me drink dude! lets celebrate

ZAILY> i have make a decision that i guess i wanted to do for quite long, i just do not brave enuff ...but now i must say congratulations...i wish the best for both of us....

Hubby>>> he is bit tired of nursing me all nite long (psstt pssttt he is gud nurse dude), teaching at day time and few unresolve things that ppl keep chasing them...sometimes i feel like mad that i saw his face (who the hell keep my hubby out of time)....he is damn tired of all the things....i am sorry for that but i know how strong he is to face this period....

FAMILY>>>> doing quite well after all....seem everyone happy and this is new phase and fresh start...

>mak : seem to be lil sad after Adam went back to college, she just feel strong and bit brave when he is around after my lovely dad back to The One. Mak i know and always pray that you will be OK....you not alone there mak...miss mak so much

>hisham: is quite and seem bz with his notes n book , the exam is just around teh corner and he seem sometimes lost ...

esok sambung .....

what was wrong and the Caused? Thursday July 6, 2006 - 02:00pm (SGT)

me? cuti sUCK-It yang panjang last 2 weeks....due to my back pain....prolonged back pain....the worst i ever feel since got to have it since last year....huhuhuh

i pray if am not well all,....at least no one will experience this...cant sleep, walk, work, lost interest in many things esp food and meeting ppl...

so suck-it u know.....was admitted at Damansara Specialist for 2 nites and tranfered to UH ....than later again to GH emergency ...still pain...here n there ...till alst nite went to traditional massage with my hubby...then things get better..alah ..if i know this i wont just throw money...at DS just like that...let me tell u, pay money there this time around not that worth...so-Suck ....but i am Thank god i am ok....i am back here...to live life....but still pain ...stilllll

but just wana thanks who has pay a visit during my hospitalization ..thanks...

THANK YOU to those who care in anyways they are......i know it

THANKS to lovely hubby, patient enuff for me....care of me...i saw his tears when i was in emergency theatre...i saw it n...i know its means lot to us..i understand lots more abt him by now..thanks....for everything u r....

UPDATES:

DS: 'so called specialist' not so special coz she dunt even breif us wats the results from the x-ray. They said she is child specilist!!! Oh My GOD....do i look like kids......I am 28 and i am suffering back pain....

UH: still the best choice for middle income people like us > Dr S at least let us know what we suppose to know> she did her work> she id the so called Dr

GH: emergency not so emergency....if they cant c your blood here and tehre...its not so called emergency...it is not...if u cant breath , u r out patient ...hhuhuhuhu ...jap at butt really suck-it...and the Dr fierce..but i dunt care...i am in pain ...

Back Pain: still but i have enuff pain killer till next appt

tonite: traditional massage again> it helps > recomended for those who look for one

10 July > next App at UH to meet up with Dr S

17 July > appt with Ortho, UH

Thanks and Thanks : Thursday June 22, 2006 - 09:16am (SGT)

It has been long for me …not updating this page…..due too many reasonable things happen and things really keep me bz, I am unable to update this….
Due to my wedding reception (completed by now ….fuhhh thank God)….suffering my back pain for few days….work stress… (overstress I may say)….crazy ….. all keep me away from this things called BLOG!

I just wana THANKS all the fren and relatives who make my day brighter n greater…thanks for the time spend …and thanks for coming …..thanks also for those who help me in any ways that I cant list down all…..i know you guys still rock and will always rock…..
Your existence in my life make me feel great and wonderful…
I am a wife but still I am your fren….forever fren….

LESSON FOR 2Day

This is how i would say sorry / Sad for those who cant understand MY WORSE English / Malay .....

>>>> Je suis désolé = i am sorry (french)
Lo siento = i am sorry (spanish)
Ik ben droevig = i am SAD (dutch)HET SPIJT ME= I AM SORRY
Sono spiacente = i am sorry (italian)
Perdóname = forgive me (spanish<<<<<<<<<<,

FAMKE JANSSEN PICTURE: Wednesday June 14, 2006 - 08:57am (SGT)

this one? i dont think so......

being a wife ... Tuesday June 13, 2006 - 04:09pm (SGT)

feeling so sweet being a wife to my hubby...treated like a queen baby...i wish that i will have this forever in my life ....along the way we will grow older happy ...i pray that we will always in our honeymoon mood forever....

being a wife...is just something very new experience ...ppl told me that it is just a step into this...along the way there is ups n down we will face...so as a wife i must really understand, tolerate, patient.....the best way to save everything i have now....

being a wife...is something that i really want to treasure...this is we call a responsible..call alife, shared life...i feel safe in his arm, there is an arm where i can cry to, share the joy n tears..everything...there is someone who stand with wide arm open...

being a wife...where i can walk with someone call hubby...i always feel confident...safe...happy....meaningful of what i am doing...

being a wife ...i must thank to the One for this gift.... this gift as precious for me to share n treasure..i must thank the one i call hubby to choose me to share this life....thanks thanks

Just Married: Monday June 12, 2006 - 04:18pm (SGT)

just married.....a wife now.....with Mrs Jatt title........hehehhehehe.......

nak tulis apa yerrr?......byk sgt nak tulis ni....today.... : Thursday May 18, 2006 - 01:45pm (SGT)

1- somehow i listen to 'weird' music....i am not listening to my favorite stuff like i always do...malay song today babe...malay i tell u...love song ...and i feel gud that way....satu opis gelak n rasa 'something wrong' with me....but its ok with me...back to the root....80's & 90's malay love song ....memories flies back to the time....lots of sweet bitter things cross my screen..i can c me last time 'life'.....during my teenage time, my early 20's, my 'lost' time..hahahah sweet to remember pain to just ignore...it teach me lots...experience how gud or bad it was.....i just thanks...

2-feel miss my fiance ...i dunt know....this morning he sent me to work ...but somehow i miss him.... izzit i gud sign of something....hope so....

3- counting days for the lonnngggg holiday.... i am not looking for that wedding that much...in my head i am looking to be out from this 'lovely office' for a while.....sure lah i nak kawen n happyly looking for that but then.....i nak cuti ...2 weeks will be gud n nice holiday for me....last long holiday was when my dad past away...thats all.... then i am back to my normal 5-days-working-non-stop ....fuhhhh it has been years for me....work work work

4-review my 5-years plan after getting married... in all area ...financially, future upgrading, family and more....banyak nak kener wat nih...bukan senang macam atas kertas...

5-reviewing the wedding thingy...such as the invitation, wedding dress thingy, the plan, logistic, money matters.....fuhhh...banyak sungguh....time is limited...look like there is no tomorrow for the 'play play' one...this is serious man...kawen is serious matter ...that wat Jatt also stress out to me...his principe that this is serious matter that u need to treat serious how hard it is...but there is always a way of taking it nicely......

2 b continued.....makan lunch yang ditapaukan oleh my GM.....

i wana update this but somehow... Wednesday May 10, 2006 - 03:28pm (SGT)

i just really wan to write all these ...in my blog (a.k.a update) but just too lil time for too many things to say....i wana share all this....

Bachelorate Party @ 28 April 2006 @ Rum Jungle

Moving hse to Damansara Pelangi

My 1st time trip to Kelantan Darul Naim

My trip to Kedah with my younger sister

My WEDDING preparation > a months before+ nervous

My WEDDING preparation > 3 weeks to go @ hometown

My Work lately

My fren who used to like me (into-me) when i decided i met the one

Money matters

My single life towards the end of season

My cooking , reading, music stuff

Gadgets: PDA's + N7710/ N70

Arrrgggjjjj pls pls i must look for time ...i just cant help not write something

My english so bloody poor by now, my vocab so damn poor.....help help ...

feelingsss : Tuesday May 9, 2006 - 09:53am (SGT)

lucky..that i got to know him as he is ...he is not too.. for what he is and he is not ...sometimes fun can be tears and tears coz of fun too...

never cross my mind that i will have what i have now and will have later...a comfort house to live, a good planning about life....a smooth sailing of beginning of life....

a future husband who loves me more than i can expect he will..... who pampered me with all his will....(xcuse me......who tell me tat he is naive, he is dumb, Tipah tertipu......tertipu yang sangat menggembirakan...tipulah lagik...) just sometimes i think i dunt love him much...dunt love him tat many as he always do....

just too nervous of the coming big day...its 3 wedding reception....hhhmmmm sound tiring ....sound MONEY!!! MONEY!!!

feeling shy of getting married esp when ppl teasing you abt this n tat..... im afraid.....dunt teas me ...pls pls pls...

life seem to change from old path to better path....better always......thank God for all happened and not....

last nite dream.... & bit updates.. Thursday May 4, 2006 - 08:24am (SGT)

last nite was so scary......dreamt of something cud possible happen......on my big day or before....i wake up thinking about and i felt so scared....too scared....i just wana pray that all this just a bad dream ....nothing ...or i just a reminder for me to put xtra care abt me myself for the time being....

il updates abt last three weeks...

1- i went back to my hometown 2 times , to help mum settle all abt the wedding....also i am now fully certified to get married to Jatt...i got approval from Majlis Daerah Kubang Pasu last Tuesday with my Bro Adam goin to b my Wali.....its a bit leceh process where you need to go to Imam hse and get his signature, then bring all teh documents ....TBC>....

all seem not gud.....but i try hard to fix.... Thursday April 27, 2006 - 05:27pm (SGT)

i know these:

- u cant fix stupid...let it be stupid....coz ppl who is stupid always deserve tat....

-my heart was 'attack' by an anger feeling by this one man ....who always think i am the bllodyhell stupid n pity gurl in my life...i never blame him nor to admit what he claimed in his own judgement abt me.....he can think , he can say either he can choose of being quiet....watever....who i am just to fix all ....i cant even say tat.....i just fix myself.......better that way huh...

- when u deserve things....and you know you about to get it , but u cant just get it..coz there is someone HERE.......that stupid someone lah.....yeaaa ...at the end of the day, you cant fix stupid man...

- wake up in the morning> you dunt feel like oing to work> you are in trouble man.....u really need helps.....need to check whether its you that having a prob or company > my case i am so sure its not me...its THEM!!!

-i am panic by now......help help

somekind of not gud feeling surround me: Friday April 14, 2006 - 06:12pm (SGT)

1- esok blk kampung urus hal2 munakahat , dengan harapan sekaligus melegakan hati mak yg tgh runsing pasal anak dia yg sorang ni dah nak kawen.....aku rasa blh paham how hard she weri abt me as my dad dah no longer will lead biggest occasion like this ...this wedding will be something meaningful for her as she will deliver the promise to arwah ayah...(i know ayah never really talk to mum that asked her to make sure anak dia sorang ni akan lepas dgn baik) but aku tahu sgt mak tuh........ bukan tido mlm sgt dia sekarang...lagik tak selamat langsai semua...alah mak ....sapa tak kenal dia...adam kata mkn pun termenung..so harap dgn aku blk setel apa yang patut dia akan rasa lega...

mak tak pernah handle occasion penting sebesar ni, masa adik shida kawen dulu (termasuklah cousin2 aku yg ayah tlg kawenkan> then lupa diri : alah berapa byk jasa ayah kat org dlm mendirikan masjid ni, but sekor pun tak ingat sgt2....ayah pernah ker kisah ...ayah mcm tuh lah. dia...RINDU) , semua mak jd secretary jer...ayah lah semua master mind dlm segala urusan...alah mak tak byk cakap punya type...if she need to say she just will say with really at the rite time...with the really in consideration will not hurts anyone feeling...

kali ni mak rasa sgt sbb ayah dah tak der....actually bukan mak sorang , aku lg terasa bahang nak urus semua alone ...(yes like i said ramai nak tolong but how far they can help, in terms of few important thing yg u need wat u called 'ayah', u will not have that....) the encouragement of having such of wedding reception, hal2 yg lebih arif bila org tua yg urus, yg lebih tahu selok belok org tua2 punya hal, kali ni aku n mak lah yg kener wat....masalah jugak sbb aku kat sini n mak kat sana...terkejar2 aku nak handle semua....urusan itu ini...aku tak nak mak susah hati n i let her down alone there...i wont do that to her...i just only have a mum....

dalam mata mak masa aku bercakap lepas the engagement day last time aku blk, i can c that she is happy for me n i really know tat she feel sad too....its all abt ayah not with us (but i believed he is ....around us smile happily for me > budak kurus yg ketegaq nak mampus ni)..but i percaya mak rasa fuhhh lega habis coz i lastly come to the next big step ogf my life ....getting married with someone that she bless....she like....mak mana tak suka tgk anak dia bahagia....tell me...mak ayam pun suka tgk anak dia hepi ma....

mak tuh bukannya apa....dia risau if something happened and its not smooth sailing as what we plan....but i always tell her ' mak....kita hanya rancang...' she will take deep breath...n smile...mak feel like she is alone to handle...but for many reasons i will make sure i handle this wiser...mmg nak puaskan hati semua org takkan dapat...takkan boleh...but with the greatest effort i will try....this is the risk and all the sweet bitter of getting married...so i will just open hearts to face this....

esok blk i will try to handle few importants thing such as

1- the akad process where i need my younger bro to be the 'wali' for me....kalau ada ayah syoknya...Adam dah mula nak minta itu ini coz tanpa wali tak kawen achik ni....byk gilak borang nak filled in...and the best part tat if you will having akad nikah ceremony at Kedah State, u need to fill in the form in jawi text ...so in order to fill the form, u must know how to read too....so ? Boleh ker? i am thank god that i really well verse in that Jawi both write and also read..so for those who will nak kawen kat kedah sila lah blajar jawi ...tak ramai dah reti baca jawi nowdays...but that i consider as advantage lah....

2- all the menu n budget for the wedding reception ....nak jamu apa...uuhhhhh pening nya saya...

3- benda2 yg remeh temeh yg perpaksa aku tahu A-Z (mak ada mcm2 angan....sbb masa adik kawen she cant even get her 'daughter' wedding coz adik Cda mmg angin satu bdn...semua is 'her wedding'...ssh lah , so i will try make mak punya dream at least come true with my very tight budget ... rasa nak keluar darah kat hidung pk duit ....huhuhuhubut for mak oklah...

4-i still actively handle arwah ayah nursery, so this opp i will pay visit to nursery...(aku blk too short semua aku nak wat...) but this is my promise n responsibility to my said commitment...i will go and manage few errants with MAB, the staff and also arwah previous fren who also once get a joined venture with him...(sekerat jln dah blah tinggal ayah with kerugian, now dah sinar cerah nak dtg blk....no way old man...I am CRUEL Enuff ok coz u deserve...)

5-i need to meet up with few important ppl in this wedding thingy...fuhhhh cukup ker masa ni ...mlm ahad dah nak blk cini...

bila blk KL plak aku akan bz untuk final preparation such as wedding dressed measurement, last few things to buy, sending out all the invitation card, move out hse, new hse arrangement so bila dah settled aku dah ada umah sendiri nak duduk......i will go Kelantan to get few important things too....arrrhhgggg i hate travelling here n there with a very rushing commitment...dah tuh apa nak wat kan..terpaksa lah ...

eermmmm bachelorate party ....organize by Ita, Elly and Nicole....will be held....soon somewhere in end of April.... where? dunt know i just folo.....lets the party willbe the history after all.....fun n fun with these chicks....uhhh cant wait man cant wait....

aku masih tercari2 masa nak pi 'manjakan' diri before the wedding...maybe somewhere around 6/5 kot with my GM....mestilah jaga n manjakan diri jugak ...facial aku tak wat lagik, all spa thingy pun sikit tak plan lagik....aarrrggghhh sudah ...byknya..i need more time...time time ...macam ni rupanya nak kawen yer...huhuhuhu

my concern now is my dollars n cents as well...coz this commitment is quite rushing, i will definitely facing a vvvveeerrryyyy tight financial....crucial...duhhh nasiblah kawen sekali bg aku ...if let say 5 yrs once, fuhhhhh demam beb deman beb....dunt have enuff money as well time....but i just wana keep this smile with me....pray smooth sailing...

lately i really stress with few things ....personal, job related and inner force...if silap step tergolek ....tp sesekali if i remember how ayah handle things....senyum + settle...i feel strong ..the strength that i get from ayah...is just something priceless...alah kalau ayah ada he will say...'apa nak risau ...kalau nak kawen , kawen lah...'..ayah ..ayah....semua senang tak der masalah...that old man never say 'susah' or 'tak larat'...he just the person that i cant define ....but i know teh most what he feel about the 'life' he face...

from now on i need more rest, i need more cool feeling, patient, strength, brain, motivation....so i need a book, a set of kitchen ready to 'goreng', and fishing...in order for me to get all those mentioned above.....

kacau bilau ....... Thursday April 13, 2006 - 05:41pm (SGT)

today....

1- i gave up for everything, i felt so down....down down....

2- i felt stuck with all, i am here not moving even i have tried hard ....harder even the best i can do..

3- i hate when things seem all wrong, especially its bcoz of me. bcoz i am what i am....felt so pressure till i thought of run and never return here to face all this...

4-the time not moving seem like all static....time is not moving while i waiting....evertything was s o wrongggg here n there...

5-i felt i am alone here facing lots things...shud i share? y? will they understand....

6- emotional blend with feeling, will birth u the best type of anger....you will satisfied of feeling that..angry man angry ....with lots around you.....

7-calendar is just something make u headache....make u feel u running out of time, time time tat so precious....calendar is just a piece of paper make u get panic easily...panic panic.....just a sheet of calendar

8-a word from people tat u love will make ur day or else turn it to really bad day.... u laugh when it sound so lovely....but believe me tat if ur love say something bad, it will effect you badly.....

i just sometimes missed a lot of my heartbroken time...where i found that i am independence, strong, wiser, cool, reserve and i am OK......just too much showered, u will feel too flattered and u tend to forget urself.......like what i am now.....

hari yang sangat menyakitkan hati... Tuesday April 4, 2006 - 06:23pm (SGT)

1- sebab semlm aku pun sakit hati , so today aku bawa lagi kesakitan hati tuh....sambung sakit hati ...tak semena-mena aku rasa sakit yang semakin melarat dalam hati ...kuang kuang kuang

2- i am suppose to meet up with a 'big bro' of me n my fiance , but suddently i MAY BE accidentally hurt his feeling by saying something ACTUALLY nothing for me...(lets talk honest ...selalu nak cover jaga hati jer kerja aku..spa plak nak jaga hati aku...)

3- i am tired of WORKING CONDITION ......... wats so wrong wat so not so wrong......i am pening i am sakit jiwa....tertekan tertekan.....

4- Ada jugak makhluk kata 'kalau hang tak tahu meh sini aku nak bg tahu yg hang sekarang dah belagak, sombong, Xcy'.....do i? ishhh sejak bila plak aku ni belagak sombong, apa yg aku ada pun setakat ni.....kalau setakat aku nak kawen aku di kira sombong....ishh kalau org yg dah ada cucu cicit tuh tahap apa plak tuh....makin tak paham plak .....masa dia lalui menda2 macam ni, masa dia bersenang lenang sendiri i never plak amik pot...asal dia bahagia....masa masa dia berjaya sendiri aku still aku jugak....just sbb aku tak angkat tepon (tgn tgh kotor dinner + pastuh tak call blk sbb tgh nak beli credit + aku lupa plak apa aku nak crita kat dia) - dia judge aku sombong Xcy.....sakit hati sampai tak tercakap....effected my day ...my feeling hurts....kadang2 aku pun tak tahu mcm mana nak pikir nak buat semua org rasa hepi...(of coz aku takkan boleh) ...tp since aku bc sms tuh aku rasa ...terbakar, sayu, panas ......sbb kata2 mcm tuh kuar ngan hanya sbb2 yg sgt tak logik + tak blh aku sendiri nak pikir....pelik.......deep down i cry coz org yg kata tuh bukan org lain....

nsdckajwhnefocwehfcasDw'epgferigdfjg89w7toejfgverkghorjh ;damvkasjfeirgrt234h8rtjn65e 4uja4e7t6 w4yv7h6q5447by 3qjmt 237uxzjsdklfuhe;ug;lerh36btd7j3d f7h 367j36g8 w38GWEF - this is me that NOW.....

bLUR

MESS

FEEL STUPID.....

this week.... Friday March 24, 2006 - 06:40pm (SGT)

this week few things happened.....

- had register my 'kursus kawen' (he did to do that coz he is not teaching today)

-my Boss a.k.a GM finally got her car > NAZA CITRA > and i am the 1st to be the passenger...damn nice car...spacious..oklah untuk dia yg cute jugak....

- my eyes caught by KIA OPTIMA at KIA Distribution Centre at Rawang> while waiting my boss to get the car, i am taking my own sweet time to look around > Optima caught my attention among all the cars

-this week my feeling really hurt due to few unreasonable things at office...at the wedding planning process....at someone who really upset my feeling...but i still bare with all...tak per boleh tahan lagik ni...kasi lanyak skit lagik baru aku pening...jaga korang...

- i felt extremely exhausted with all in my head.... tiring most of the day..... due to lots in my head...brain too tired thinking all those ...but i dont really have a choice ...keep think and most of it is take ACTION....this wat Jatt also told me....

- i found that he is so supportive that i keep walking with him....i am thank God...

- the date is nearer day by day....i am nervous + happy for the big day.... and i am afraid of any possibilities....lots ofthings coming our way too.....thank God.....

- money plays roles in a lots of things you wanted to do....but its just nothing if your heart is empty....money cant buy certain thing thats so valuable......

My MP3 Player- a gift : Wednesday March 22, 2006 - 04:15pm (SGT

This is my MP3 Player> a gift from a dear fren..... on my previous birthday....

Thanks and i love this......it keep me with my music all the time....

its the beginning of all the ending.... Monday March 20, 2006 - 05:36pm (SGT)

Lastly ....after quite long of being asking this 'WHEN?"

alhamdulillah... its done...i feel so great about the event....everyone happy and everyone feel 'fuhhh lega dah habis satu' ...as i am too...him too i guess....so just the preparation for the next step.....plan and details need to be jot down again and again....

thanks to those has involve with in the events from day 1 and till it was completed......

thanks sangat to my family who try hard and d best to make the event happening (pening pun yer lah jgak...byk sgt hati2 nak dijaga....dimanja...letih achik) > mak, shida, adam sham , dik Ahh, Charlie + Sarah....and all the family i really dun hv space n times to write all here , but my credit goes to all.......my neighbours and frens who pay visit ...i love u guys....thanks for the support and happy greeting from u all too......its your bless....thats i felt so touch...

TQ also to those close fren who really care abt this My fren Zaily a.k.a Elly, Aznita, Wardah, Nana.... and few more i failed to list all....thanks so much for all support and everything ...

and to these listed below...u n me know what all abt...we know best.......MAC (i know u d best bro...its in between that no one can understand), DAVID (this mastermind pushing this to the limit very slow , but it work)..., ROSLi (Ko best gilak > encouraging lah ko)...and few to name you know who u r than......Thanks for all...everything said and done... love u guys

To Kak Faz, And Kak Noor, Thanks for the gift...i LOVE it...i like it....i know its with u guys i wake up and i still wake up.....with u guys....never i go alone....i still with u guys....i still old me...(ur best Miss Grumble)....he know i will sometime 'always single' wit u guys....(Kak Ngah N Kak Long ROCK man!!!!) to Shaik & HAilan....biler lagik? but ...u know i love u guys....Muuaahhh

for those memories ...i just wana say gudbye...i cant live with the shadow and i cant help to cry all my life ...

the feeling and the trust i carry by now is within me....i knew better in any ways it can be.....everything gonna be alrite....

to him.....Thanks......it just new me with a gud step to walk....thanks for everyone that give a support in anyways they did...

To Arwah ayah....i did ....i did with all my heart ...and its for u..i know u know...please smile for me n feel happy....i will be the one who u always wanted me to be....i will...this is teh promise...if he was there to share the moments....he will be the happiest .....its never too late to do something about his dream....somehow i miss my arwah ayah so deep ....even i have someone who will share life with...coz he is my ayah ...the best man ... who know me best after all...

something... Thursday March 16, 2006 - 09:25am (SGT)

you dont know the feeling until you lost that someone....by wish or just innocent negligence... till u really lost that person forever in your life....i must say that the worse feeling you will feel...after you realize how gud to have her/him in your arms....how worth to be with or what she/he can bring to you.....

you dont know the feeling of getting what you want + what you deserve....how hard you try or you are lucky to get it...till you hold it with you....in your heart so closed, in your arms so tight....then you know how lucky, happy and worth you are ....to be there.....

I have to say gudbye for all those memories....for all those history...i just someone new in this continuos story...next episode...i just cant wait anymore, being here for something put me in cloudy days...it has been long wait and long misery for me.....i just wish all the cut will not left me the scar.....if i still can see the scar ....it hurt me deeper.

i just wana welcome my new episode of life...deepest pray that it will be gud as it is.. if not more , it not suppose not be less than what i deserve...i just wana have this new turning point of life as gud as i could...as gud as i always wanted to...i wana feel gud for making this decision ....i believe in myself that sunrise everyday and at the end of the day....it is sunset coz it will rise again tomorrow....to light my life....

i just wana thanks as many as people who involved in mylife , as what ever he/ she is being to me....many thanks to those who brighten up my life the way they are and the way they are not... i cant afford to write everyone name's here .....i know deep in my heart they always be with me...thanks ....

also i wana thanks who has put me down and try to make me suffer all the years....they make me feel stronger and stronger...they make me feel ' i have to'...i try to walk if they make me crawling......i speak outloud if they ask me to shut-up....thanks ....for being 'the way you are'....