Thursday, May 31, 2007

Down Down Down..

everything....
nothing......
to my worry now....too many things...possibilities....sometimes we manage to take it, but there is time that we really try hard too, but we failed to take things just the way it suppose to be....

sometimes we cry and we feel better...but it doesnt solve the problem and we only lie to ourself....
most of the times, we just pretending we cool enuff....but was another lie....even worst that we didnt help ourself to solve it......

there is times when i really cant think more and more.....all the sweet talk doesnt work anymore...
the reality is that i have to stand on the real fact........real time.......
that me too cant pretend off, for what i really feel, face and have ......
that this is too hard and difficult to deal with.....

........

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Can u pronounce this in one breath?


Hello...

Hrrmmm i just read newspaper online ( Berita Harian - CITRA section) and found this name . This name belong to ex-daughter in law of ex-President of Indonesia, Suharto. And the name was..

Raden Ayu Ardhia Pramesti Regita Cahyani Bambang Tjahjo Soerjobandoro

.. 9 words..n i told my hubby abt this name...and i ask him to imagine, if this unique 9 words name belong to me or any other Muslim lady, can the bridegroom pronounce wows in one breath, clear, in sequence, and sincerity? So can u? i told my hubby maybe he need a year just to remember the name or to make sure he can marry the bride.....my hubby said maybe he need the lady to at least change the name? hehhehe

Hrmmmm I want to thank my father who has put me a nice name ...easy to pronounce and have a meaning too.....and so easy for Jatt to make his wow in one and only time in life ...hopefully.....

Friday, May 25, 2007

ME and Hubby - Latest picture

Recap ..recap time ...throughout the moment of being together....
heheh just nothing.....its almost one year for us to be together.... will celebrate 1st Anniversary on this 2 June ....some pictures at our 1st moment and now.....hopefully forever....


This is where we used to dating time...short time about 2 mths and half...but was very interesting....Early days of dating ....at Centrepoint Damansara....around January
Using Jatt's handphone








This is picture of Jatt & I, at Starbucks The Curve. Discussing wedding matters, budgeting nad few more things....If i am not mistaken or old enuff to remember, its around March 2006, pisture taken by MAC who just spot us by accident....






This picture taken during engagement, solumny ceromony, wedding (3 weddings celebration) and honey moon time...This picture taken rite after the engagemnet ceremony at my hometown - Date: 18 March 2006, by my brother Adam













This picture taken during rite after the 'akad nilah' ceremony. Jatt is putting my wedding ring. Date: 2 June 2006, taken by fren of Jatt, Esmael Iskandar.










This was the wedding celebration/ celebration at my hometown with green theme. Date: 3 June 2006, taken by MAC, fren of Jatt.








This picture taken at the wedding ceromony organized by Jatt's uncle, Pak Su Ali at his house , Alor Setar. With red theme, i feel so traditional (mum request of wearing res traditional songket). Date: 4 June 2006. taken by Esmael Iskandar












This picture taken by Eugene Moore on our wedding reception at Kompleks Tabung Haji Kelana Jaya. Date: 17 June 2006. Jatt suppose to wear same color 'Baju Melayu' but unfortunately, its the 'cloth fault'- its too small for him. So he look stunning in this "mandarin Collar Suit'. I fall in love more n more.










So called Honey Moon time- a week after the wedding ceremony.... Cameron Highlands, Pahang Malaysia. This was taken at Rose Garden, one of the biggest rose garden there.









JAtt & I ....in few events....just for fun........

















Sunday, May 20, 2007

Other day of my life.......Part One


Hello .....
again i have lil precious time to update this blog.....
ok let we discuss again abt the thing i tell u i want to write......

- pregnancy
- Being 1st time parent preparation
- CML Stand Up & Live for Life, Malacca
- 3D2N @ HKL
- Work? Bizz?
- 1st Wedding Anniversary
- eating habit
- writing a constructive write up?
- Malaysia TV Reality Show


PREGNANCY.... cont.....
let make it simple so i can write many thing tonite ( tonite? its 1.09am already man...)
Me? ok ...great...sometimes i experience what other pregnant lady experience too like back pain ( of coz lah i feel it, due to my back pain i have, but now days it feel it lower back pain.....its normal for pregnancy esp my size), carrying baby like a 'burden' for the 1st time mum to be...i also easily experience numb, cramp lower part of body...but normal.....
eating habit still major problem, like usual i always like to eat 'my commom food' n baby cant experience the better taste of mummy food, yet i try to have diff kinda menu everyday....sometimes jatt cook simple2 menu for me...TQ Sayang....
Hsewife i am, still but most of the heavy duty task carried out but Jatt, as the doc advice....i cant perform all now , just to make sure the pregnancy dunt have any problem like last time ....again. Jatt helping me lots....errmm i think this is the best time to bully him too...n the best time to train him to be househusband too.....Sorry.....i carry 'someone else with me, no heavy duty plsssss..... 'hehehhehe but honestly...i cant stand to see him, do all those things....what a dilemma for me...esp when i need to ask him help to do that....difficult for me, but if the thing tat i can perform, i just try do it slowly, and just tell myslef it was an exercise only.....

Being 1st time parent preparation
errmmm its quite crazy for me ...when it comes to the preparation for the lil one.. during my shopping day with Jatt, i almost wanted to buy all stuff showcase on the rack! Crazy huhhh? but i have my list 'to buy things'....we try not to buy too many stuff for baby, not to say we not welcoming him to the new world....its fine to buy slowly..some more my sister old baby stuff still new, n my sister in law in Singapore also wanted to give us my nephew stuff, Hadi who was born only last February....but he grew up too fast, so 'new born' label not applicable for Hadi, so she wanted to past to me ...I dunt mind to use used stuff, as long its in gud condtion and safe to use by us....i bought necessary stuff , basic need 1st....coz we can always by later if we really need to buy.....for now, basic stuff bought and we plan to complete it by next 2 weeks.......
thinking that delivery and give birth might involved cost, so we really put ourself rational even this is 1st baby for us...sometimes we need to be sensible in many things....yes we happy and eager, but is doesnt allow you to waste out of unnecessary.....rite? for now i am comfortable with our preparation.....later we will design and move few stuff for baby room....its important for him to have a place that safe n clean....it is a must.....

- 3D2N @ HKL - a vacation on public holiday
why? i was having a bleeding on Tuesday, a week before my trip to Malacca for CML event.....n its really put me at panic and nervous...its not becoz of the bleeding at 1st place, but i am afraid i cant joint the event which, all the core member of Max Family have put heart and soul to the event....oh no i want to joint it as much as i really hope to c it done succesfully....(huhhu how stupid i am never think abt my baby...sorry mummy...)..then i went to my doc at private clinic where i always have my usual check up....the doc said may be my placenta was low,n was inject a 'poison' to make sure the placenta keep at the place and he said to strengthened it...eermmm ok n he said if in 24 hrs there is no bleeding i can travel. but he advice me to really think twice abt the trip...but who cares as long i can go and Jatt really make a stand abt it....but knowing his wife really stubborn.....Jatt just drive us to malacca.... having over do, lil stress event and over excited of how the event took place, i am bleeding again on Sunday and it is fresh blood, when reach KL at evening, the bleeding cont...and make it worse the next morning, its more and more....we rush to HKL for the opinion...
after check here and there, i was admitted for observation while the doc really cant help to get the answer for the course of the bleeding.... so i was keep rest at ward (which for me really make my condition worse coz of the envi, but thinking only a nite stay, i just keep it simple.....)

Day 1- i was put under closed observation with scan, O&G check procedure, but nothing found as the results...but my condition and baby was in gud condition.... and by that nite itself, the bleeding seem stop...fuuhhh i am Thank God with a hope tomorrow i will be back home again... till the 1am at nite.....i start to feel 'stomochache'...its really pain and very fast ....i told the nurse...they rushing n have a check...they told me, i am not having a stomoch ache, it a contraction....and worse is its happened like am about to have laboring process...what??? i am 22 weeks tat time...impossible for me?!!! the doc n nurse panic by a second coz the contraction now is 3:in 5 minutes....
what they do? nothing can be done as i am now only 22 weeks pregnancy......just stay calm....and wait till morning for the specialist to attend to the case. me? pain pain n pain...tears tears tears ...y? panic, afraid, scared and sad to face it alone (hubby cant b with me huhuhuhu)....

Day 2: the specialist n the doc attend early in the morning.....so they told me this:
Situation: Contraction at premature delivery, quite danger and rare case found at 22 weeks pregnancy.... no medication can be given at the moment, just closed observation ....specialist meeting for the answers...so i wait...
as per doc said, bleeding happened in 2 diff situation for pregnant lady, delivery time or low placenta problem. but check results shows tat my vagina door has open slightly and continously open....ok i am panic by that news .....something wrong..... placenta was ok, and not the problem


Possibility 1- my placenta ok, me ok n baby ok in term of heart beat, BP rate and all.........so the bleeding is not abt to have a laboring process, which i am only 22 weeks....if i deliver this time, the baby not goin to survive as the weight is only 450 gram- the lung and the brain not completely ready to function when he born. n by history, HKL handle only a miracle baby case, a 500 gram baby.....uhhhh its was not gud news to me n Jatt too....i start to feel panic, weri and nervous ....do i need to describe my feeling? no need i guess.....i just hope they can do miracle to safe both of us.... the doc said, if i deliver at 7 mths which the baby weight is 1kg and above, the baby hv a possibility to survive even sometimes there will be major problem in brain dev and eyes function.... so the doc ask me to just accept n be ready about the possiblities...event the truth is that i am not ready for any bad news at all, we just pray and really keep remind ourself ....it was written and we must accept.....
Possibilities 2: i am 22 weeks , so i am not supposed at the delivery process, possibility is i might having a miscarriage, known as threatened abortion....premature contraction that i have shows that indication...errmmmm i am breathless by this possibilities....but the doc gave me a type of pill where with a hope of the medication will suit me and sustain the baby.....lessor my contraction and etc etc i dunt even remember...what i remember, i ask him any options tat i have, he tried his best to explain so the way he explain i can take it.. (i am panic but we both take it as we sure there is Hikmah abt this....i believed) i remember i told him tat, "please help me with your expertise to safe both of us if possible....i really need this baby ...." i remember he smile n nodded at me....

errmmm duhhhhh it was not really news that both of us want to hear...but its all what we need to face...i try to cool down n put myself relax....knowing that i need to stay again, i ask to move to 2nd class ward, ....n by lunch hr, i was move to 2nd class ward. which i found better place for person like me...
by evening and later at nite, my contraction seem disappear and lesser ....and lesser, baby n my condition was gud...hrrmmm it really gud sign as per doc said....Thanks Allah for all those chances given to us...

3rd Day:
check up done, and i am at gud condition, and was discharged at lunch hr...ermmmm with a medication given, i am heading home with Jatt...and my mum came to take care of me ....for few days at least......


visitors
TQ and many TQ to frens and relatives who makes their times to drop by....and at least gimme strength to me thru their smile and em=encouraging words...
TQ from both of us to Mei Ching, Dr Razak, Sister Tan, Sahimi, Fan, Ghandi, Chin Lee, Sue n sister (masak merah ayam sedap), Razmi, Nelia-TMF Filipina, Wirat-TMF Thailand, my mum in law- Mak Kina, akak and my beloved sister shida who cook the best chicken soup in the world...

nurse, MO's & Doctors
Ppl said that nurses working in government hospital always portray weak and such poor services to the patient- fierce, laser mouth, and kinda lazy....and i am buy by the rumors....i never been in government hospital before, and that was something i really want to experience..... but since my 1st process of registration at counter for check up till the last step my stay at HKL, it all rumors....no....all the nurses at Kaunter Kemasukan O&G , Ward 2A & Ward 3A O& G HKL was very nice, ease my pain and i was so comfortable...they are helpful, friendly and most of that.....they dunt event have what rumors have it!! I just want to say TQ to all the nurses, not to forget all the doctors especially Dr Rabiah, all the MO's and Specialist Dr, Dr Alvin. Thanks ...

ward & food & facilities
Definitely it was not the best among all....but when u in pain, the most u can think is to get rid of it....what else? nothing i guess...but when the conditions surround u doesn't give you the best level of comfortability, u start think...the pain even harder... ....its still pain even the wall build with the gold and silver, but psychology in human brain and body systems......less pain when your environment better ....at least thats applies for me...and i can differentiate the 3rd class n 2nd class people attitude, and behavior.....you can compare by a second you there....

Conclusion
TQ God i am Ok.......baby also ok....
Thank God tat i was give a great test and there always HIKMAH beside all the pain and joy...
And i found a name for the baby in here....Iman Umar....so call him Baby Iman.....

TBA i am jammed........dusshhhhhhh

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

long break - COME BACK!!!


hello my dear blog....
many soooorrryyy for being away and ignore....just writer's block i think.....
if many asking how i am doin now here, let me tell you i am fine TQ. I am ok and getting fatter n fatter.....the reason y i was away for quite long is just simple.......bz ....for many reason.... other priority took place..

This entry nothing much , else than updating about what had happened lately ...while i am missing.... i will try to update accordingly what is considered necessary...
i think this is the things i really wanted to update....

- pregnancy
- Being 1st time parent preparation
- CML Stand Up & Live for Life, Malacca
- 3D2N @ HKL
- Work? Bizz?
- 1st Wedding Anniversary
- eating habit
- writing a constructive write up?
- Malaysia TV Reality Show

i will try to write this issue according, maybe need me to complete 2 or 3 entry...but i will try....i hope my writer's block

PREGNANCY....
now i am 6 mths old of pregnancy....where left another 3 mths plus to go with this big fat tummy..(someone said i am sexy....uhhhhhh i am glad) baby was so fine n i am doin well at the moment..... ppl start notice my tummy and can regconized me as pregnant lady, so i have a previledge of not participating in long q, or to have a sit at first.... yes thats wat so great about being pregnant....but i try not to take that advantage so much
, but somehow i cant resist of feeling 'queen treatment' by lots of people esp my hubby, Jatt. (thanks)

oppps i have to stop here...will cont tomorrow.....
serious no writer's block just something else urgent..... gudnite