Previous Blog : PArt 1
FEW Things that cross my mind lately…else than the TURNING POINT OF LIFE :Monday March 13, 2006 - 05:21pm (SGT)
1- ‘Blogging’ lately is in-thing that everyone has an interest to do (for those who do not know what is all about, I am sure you need to ask why you dun even know this…wake up people!!)…. From a school kid, artist, jobless, me, they, he, she, you to the professional educated well-done-manager level individual do blogging…believe me they did…especially one which easy access to Internet connection…simply from home, college, wireless public access spot and the most as shown by the stat is from office (I did…so what?)…Previously the boom of instant messaging capture most of the people, and everyone talk about it, everyone have it but now I found out blogging took place as the medium of transferring the thoughts into written medium, exchanging idea, place where you throw your feeling, ideas, dissatisfaction and etc…even posting a photo and so called advertisement… …the methodology of blogging itself never be known by any…. people now days just blogging about lots of thing…. generally this in-thing has been in www for quite long in such as USA and most develop country esp with ICT boom nowdays….
Me myself found out that thru this, I can express a lots of thing that I cant really put it into words…into face expressions….into a letter to whom I mean it…no never….but thru this blogging…I kept it with www so no one knows it was me…(various types of blog with lots of security level> depend what kinda engine you tap to) I feel easy that thru blog I can be true myself….else than I can get new frens…(BUT be careful making fren online > lots of things had happened before thru net world that so called net crime)
Most people take this blog as leisure but for me sometimes put me a long thought of what other people wrote into the post. It may make you think > your brain work as you start to think….for me, I read and take what I can use as guideline or ideas for better living….that’s enuff say ….about blogging….for me sometimes ppl said blogging not that gud, I just say…look into positive way as possible…
2- I never knew that I can/ have a ‘click’ with someone most people said is the hardest and toughest to deal with, far older than me… but I found out that I can. …just so easy to handle and tackle… coz what? How I do it? Just be myself. …True myself….i guess everyone must do so …no need to be someone else…how hard you try to be someone else…you in your heart knows better…lie to thousand you can….but you cant lie to one person…its you…cant lie to yourself how liar-liar you are…and I really realize that I never have a problem to deal, socialize and have a day with people who far older than me…no matters what gender….i just doin fine…after all.
3- I am so independent gurl in many things in my life…. since my upbringing was so meant to be like that, was trained like that (Thanks Ayah…..) I found out lately I less independent…since I hold someone in my heart…I do mentioned this to him, he said this is the time where I need to depends on him coz I have him beside…the time where I used to be so independent has gone….n now I deserve to share (he said that’s the correct word) compared to depend….yeaaaa he may correct. To be honest…I dun feel easy that I cant be me…I love to have independent life…but other fren said…at this turning point of life, sharing life….you must less independent to make your partner feel of ‘in-need’…make sense…
4- Since I have make a decision of ‘make it’ lastly, I am damn bz of planning this and that….every weekend occupied with something you cant wait to do….sure you need to finish this by time else you missed out by choice of yours… …its about a month plus without a rest for me and him too…a trip, a visit, planning, organizing, do it….put me in headache , tiring, sometimes unknown anger, disappointing against a small matters, tension, stress, and health problem…I am damn weri due to the things that we have put in plan….seem easy in ppl eyes but to make it easy…..duhhhh! tell me how I gonna do…tell me….if both of us not patient enuff of this, with surrounding demands today…with lots of shortage…fuhhhh!! I will say…. lots of tears…. lots of pain…but I do pray all will ok one day….
5- I do less reading, cooking, house chores…too less…i missed all those activities …too much…I missed my wonderfull weekend at home…where I used to wake up so damn late…my ‘lepaking’ mood on weekend where I just read! Read! Read!…..i missed cooking at my lovely kitchen…where I used to try lots of new recipe …I used to eat till I felt sleepy…miss everything where I used to do while I am so called ‘single’…now I don’t have enuff time…coz my priority goes to my wedding planning and preparation….however its so sweet & lovely also to have this together with someone you gonna have a rest of life with…he is very understanding and patient enuff…for this preparation…(TQ!)….once in your life….
6- I am nervous of this turning point of life…. with of the beginning of this 18 March…I hope the biggest step and the journey will continue by 2 June…. my deepest pray for both of us…it’s a serious matter…it’s a long journey…where there always a things you need to take a careful look…. Right left up and down… .
Everybody Loves Jatt : Tuesday March 7, 2006 - 10:04am (SGT)
hehehe its true.....i dunt know what he did......but he actually did nothing.....be himself ...true himself...by his silence, his skills of listening.....and he make it.....
EVERYBODY LOVES JATT.......
I am Happy with all sadness & tears : Monday March 6, 2006 - 04:58pm (SGT)
i am happy...too happy.... till i cant define what is all about....so i cry to understand...
i am lucky so i dun deserve anything much....i cant ask anymore...
i should be thank God with what i have....i was given....
i dun deserve anything else ......i just want this forever.....
just a liltle happiness that i never expect.....so i am happy....
with you ....i am happy...
i dun deserve to ask anything else.....nothing else...i just so happy......
which one? Tuesday February 28, 2006 - 04:32pm (SGT)
i like alllllllllllllllllllllll but second one (top) is my favoriteeeeeeeeeeeeee. . . . .
someone said the last one (below) like 'baju tidor' hehehehheheh......lawanya baju tido .... tak tido kang....
someone said if you look for wedding dress, go for Vera Wang, i said before that, look for wang 1st!!.... then go for Vera Wang...
everyone said ...HUHHH this gurl DayDreaming.....kuang kuang kuang
once in a BLUE moon Tuesday February 28, 2006 - 04:07pm (SGT)
i am counting days....anyway, counting days is not that nervous.....counting the dollars and cents ....even scary...am i correct??.....suddently i feel like ...uhhhh!! Duhhhhh!!!!!!KEBABOMMMMMMM!!!
critical crucial... Tuesday February 21, 2006 - 12:06pm (SGT)
time running like a water and i miss every minute thinking the best it could be...best possible that could happen....some miracle to heal and cure...this heartbeat jumping like no 'stop' button ... i like to put the melody so i can dance gracefully on my own music...
days goes by like a wind, moving graceful and i feel it on my skin.... i feel gud and fresh.... enjoying the movement...i feel alive...
pray hard that things done as it is should.....close eyes and start pray pray pray.....
to many things to do :( exhausted> tired> overwhelmed>
to many excuses given :( hate>unsecure> uncertainty
to many happiness to share :) alive>confident>assurance> ambitious
Dear U-KNOW-WHO-U-R, many thanks tat i cant tell you now.... but i pray one day u really know wat i am doing...
Dear U-NEVER-KNOW-ME-AT-ALL, i just pray things gonna be ok very soon...everything will be fine....
counting days.... Thursday February 16, 2006 - 05:26pm (SGT
i am counting days for a big change in life.....pray to God .....this time pls give me this gift...i deserve this.....
18032006 + 02042006......... big deal big change.....Please i deserve this for so many people own gud....
love is all around ...
ironic logic ... Wednesday February 15, 2006 - 04:58pm (SGT)
if u think things not working the way u want it to be.....
just work it out the other way of it.....can u? u can....
sometimes when i think tats too hard for me....i just dun think....so it be ...
but...i believed i can...i can...i can....even the people who want to support me just flying with empty promises.....May God Bless them....
Confession of amended broken heart!! Tuesday February 14, 2006 - 05:08pm (SGT)
My day turn off as I received a call from my X-BF gf …Miss Farah. I quite not understand tat y she keep call me, sometimes sms me (u wont dare to read I tell you…).i cant get what she want….ok let say she want the guy…ask me to do NOT INTERFERE…ok! Ok! let me tell you…I was left by him due to this Miss Farah quite long time ago….(almost 2 yrs …) so….yes I do keep contact with him sometimes….coz I really dun want any of us to treat each other bad >enemy….me myself cant do tat how bitter it was before….i just cant ….not coz I really love him before (I did before) ….
We talked nicely about this (we don’t before)…I told the gurl (she’s young and got future if she dun make same mistake as I am)…actually she accusing me that I keep interfere in their relationship…I keep ‘coming back’ to my x-bf…..(admit once again we still contact each other but for few reasons….well known by whole world tat in-fact he with her and I CANT marry him to death)..we talk nicely ..i told her, in-fact I try to keep my words simple + precise….as much as she wud understand…(quite hard to tell this kinda gurl as they will accuse you tat u try to take their bf….she knew the fact but she still accusing me..)
I just have to confess something if happen to be the X-bf read this entry….I am not goin back to you or wat…I have found someone for his worse and best I happened to know by now…and I am happy to open my heart to this new guy…. We are goin to live this life …as wat I have waste for 13 yrs for nothing…..but I will keep pray that you will get whatever u want ….and we not meant to be with…its enuff saying….
please bare in mind for Miss Farah if she happen to read as well, I have no intention to be back how I felt abt it before….its your responsible to care abt him else he will keep hunting another chicks as we both know…Miss Farah, I knew him quite long before you, since our kids, our ups and downs….so I know him….be ready with lots of tears and smile if u really mean what u told me…from now on, it was not me that INTERFERE you guys…its ur own attitude to the relationship…ur believe…..
hey, its time to just recover my soul with my valentine….even its not easy to be me…..
the day it was.....back to 28 years before : Monday February 13, 2006 - 10:27am (SGT)
It’s the day again…..its been 28 years back where my parents got this ‘ba-ba black sheep’ heheheh.....i am thank God i am here today......Alhamdulillah....
Thanks for the wishes and greeting and the gift as well…. i love it….i really do…. …I do appreciate people…u ROCK!! U Great...
Thanks for the one who just make me realize tat life still need to be continued....and...
Happy V-Day in Advance.... for everyone who in-love (to my mum, sister bro, Sarah Irdina, frens and everyone... special for somone .._U KNOW WHO lah)
Somebody......kuang kuang kuang : Friday February 10, 2006 - 11:32am (SGT)
i replace this again coz its so true......hehehe cubalah nasib kat org lain plak ok??? kot kot menjadi...
.....BLANK.....now here we go...1,2,3....
....someone:
-has surrendered at last with all the empty promise and aggresive approach.....hehehe i told u ...i told u....(look who's talking ?) yer yer sangat ko hari tuh....aku dah tahu lah ko punya crita ni.... bukan main lagik yer tat day.....kan aku dah kata .. tah la...letih letih....
- play play words haaa....not nice wohhhh.....dunt lah next time ok? u think i dunt know meh...wats in
- create another sad story tat this someone think i wud believe.....kuang kuang kuang....heheh oh please lah...(wat car u drive? where is
just simple plain advice lah heeeehhhhhh....please lah...believe me it will not work on everyone....it just another sad story of u....uhhhh....now i know u know...we know....duhhh!! malu siot.....nahhh now mana nak lari.....oklah surrender jer lah.....senang crita kan....dah dah lah tuh...bawa bertenang...there is no shortcut in this life for great living ...come on....dun be so stupid ...ur wordssssss ur everything show me tat u in deep pain...sick...but this is not the way for cure......dah lah tuh....
DUN ACCUSE ME .....PLEASE!!!
things not so rite for something important , but just too damn gud for something fool : Thursday February 9, 2006 - 08:24am (SGT)
1- i feel happy spending times with someone close....with someone nice to be with....silent itself does ...lots of silent words wishper to ears without saying...me try to understand...but i feel comfortable... look at the faces i feel stronger and there it goes.. i am happy, cool, comfortable...i do...
2- i MUST stop chasing for one...if its written to be mine, it will be one day....i am giving away another chance ....for one to prove to just showe me...that there are millions empty words and promises will be something at least.... cool ....be cool....let the life go with the flow....it will be...
3-its realy nice to sometimes ignore what you want...just if you get then its yours.....stop try too HARD coz at the end of day.....its written...
4- counting days or not, doesnt makes sense....its coming..later called it a day...then it goes.... and you there stand still....
Note to myself: Few important days just around a corner....i'd better keep myself bz with a gift and few cards... list down who will celebrate the bday this month....maybe Vday card to few ppl....bz bz bz .....
baby i am back......back again : Monday February 6, 2006 - 05:43pm (SGT)
baby i'm back....staying alive...n survive...
it has been long ....(at least so long enuff for person like me) 8 days without Internet ....then i realized life today (at least for me) depend and effected by Internet too much....all those emails, all those blogging, news on line.....wat so ever on from Internet source.... even i am not-so-into-IT...(such a jaki when i know few fren still online and get connected with each other easily....im so jaki ....)
Few things wana write.....(lots than i think i can write here....im so eager n crazy just to write here....but i am damn sleepy also now....kuang kuang kuang )
1- what i have done - happy/satisfy (a.k.a hoorey)
2-what i have done- unhappy(a.k.a huhuhuhu)
3- new things i have done/ met/ learn
4- same old things around me
wah....its too many in my mind...to many thing just pop up like pop corn lah pulak kan....haiyo...so lil time for lots of things.... maybe i can start one list a day.... hehhehehe
i am counting days for few importants things in my life ....
V-Day just around the corner ...it bother me a bit this yr ...(apasal tah ..bukannya aku sambut pun every year...cesss jiwang siot- last year card pun still dlm laci > anyone wana buy hehehehe)
isshh ngantuk sgt lah satgi lah continue to write ma....malas....nanti all nonsense burst out just like tat...
Happy Chinese New Year Friday January 27, 2006 - 05:30pm (SGT)
Happy Chinese New Year to all Chinese fren who celebrate....
Wish u guys have prosperity year ahead.....
Esp dedicate to My very dear Boon Piow, Felix Lee, Nicole Chow, Tan Wai Seng, Woh Kah Wong, Lee Kon Woh, Nicholas Foong, Tech Hooi....
To the rest who still at TMS .....you guys rock...
Drive safely....have gud holidays.... njoy the day.....
...got it.....the results...... Friday January 27, 2006 - 05:18pm (SGT)
i got the results today...
i have no word to say....nothing ...wordless...clueless....hopeless..no idea...no at alll..y me? y me? y me?......wats my fault????
watever.....i just wana live as much time i have......pray...pray..pray...
others than tat.......i dunt want to know.....
live this life...live with it...bare with it....i dun want to know further.....
i just want to go home and have me myself at home...my music..my stuff....my book.....myself....no other person ...no ..no...i only want me....me ...me.....
Things cross my mind today…… Thursday January 26, 2006 - 05:32pm (SGT)
People who has money will keep quiet> they wont tell around out loud + show off : “hey people , look and listen I have money I am rich man” – that’s kind of statement you know. BUT, there are also people who is quiet and have no money and that are the reason of being ‘shut up mode’.
Sometimes people who are bz to fix other people problem actually try to let loose abt their own problem…they try to consume a lots of the time to do something > I believed that worked on me. I sometimes try to solve others mess, actually try to just ignore mine for a while. I will sit and look back at my own when I feel satisfy abt ‘bz-try-solve-other’s-matters’
When I am sad, I am sad….i still cry ..i still need someone to comfort me the way I want them to comfort me….
I still old me who is really afraid of scary + ghost thingy movie, needle + the doctor (whether he is handsome or not) + fat old nurse + any medicine, counter transaction anywhere anyhow it is important to be done..
A fren told me that I am kinda independent gurl yet too sensitive in certain things. (things that people think I am strong enuff to face> you people not so clever to judge me > my fren did)
I am kinda person who will say things I thinks its rite to say….however try harder to put it very nice way I can….then sometimes people cant even get me at all…matters turn to something’s else….
That I shud think of what will happen to me in 5 yrs time from the minutes I type this…> still crazy bloging during office hour with same amount of pay, same position with more or less task+ same old grumble I like to do, > or I have to make a 1st step of myself > my ambition
Circle of fren/ people around me today> izzit they are the group of people that I need to be with, to avoid > beneficial for me to climb the prosperity that they have or, they just another jerk who will just drive me crazy …> for me to share meaningful life is the best whether in best and worse of each other > the question is do they also think that I suppose/ worth/beneficial to be with (KARMA always there )
Love is not simple things to force…esp for someone that who has have damn worst experience in it. Its involve more than lovey dovey things…(thanks to a fren who wake me up last nite to tell me that I was there before to feel the joy pain sweet bitter of love, I will sometimes forget that still in that recovery-period, thanks dear fren)
Someday everything will be fine…..for you ,me and everyone who think they are facing a hard time….facing the things tat not suppose to be (in their opinion) everything will be ok soon with us…please pray…
for someone close to my heart.... Wednesday January 25, 2006 - 06:29pm (SGT)
HEY
You shouldn't hesitate about my feelings for you
I've proven so many times and different ways to you
I hope somewhere deep inside you know that i love you
because whenever you come walking my way
I say hey, hey yeah
I love until the morning comes
I say hey, hey yeah
I'll kiss you in the morning sun
Now is not the right time to get serious
Now is not the right time
I don't want to seem mysterious
Give me time, in time I'll be
I'll forever set myself free
But whenever you come walking my way
I say hey . . .
Love you more than words can say
Love you more in every way
The love we share is oh so strong
I know that we both belong
But whenever you come walking my way
I say hey . . .
Note: for someone i do care all my heart, all my love dedicate to you..... just for you!!
RECOVER YOUR SOUL- Elton John
Baby you're missing something in the air
I got a name but it don't matter
What's going on, it's cold in here
You have a life but it's torn and tattered
Maybe you're losing pieces of your heart
You have a world but it stopped turning
You lose the day and gain the dark
Love was a fire but it stopped burning
Spare your heart, save your soul
Don't drag your love across the coals
Find your feet and your fortune can be told
Release, relax, let go
And hey now let's recover your soul
Lazy old sunset sinking like a tear
Alone at night in a losing battle
That perfect world is never clear
You have to fight for the things that matter
Note: for a bro who care me the way he care, the way i cant resist he is...for the bro who always say this and that> U MAKE SENSE
ITS NOT EASY - FIVE For Fighthing
I can’t stand to fly I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find The better part of me
I’m more than a bird...i’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me
Wish that I could cry Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie About a home I’ll never see
It may sound absurd...but don’t be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream It’s not easy to be me
Up, up and away...away from me
It’s all right...you can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy...or anything...
I can’t stand to fly I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride With clouds between their knees
I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me Inside of me
Inside me Yeah, inside me Inside of me
I’m only a man In a funny red sheet
I’m only a man Looking for a dream
I’m only a man In a funny red sheet
And it’s not easy, Its not easy to be me
Notes: Just for the people who close ands always in my heart....treat me good how i am....no words can say this thanks to you ......get well soon..
just a feeling... Tuesday January 24, 2006 - 01:36pm (SGT)
sad...sad of people tat really dunt want to enjoy life at the fullest... but try to ruin someone else life badly….tired...tired of lies....lies and lies..ups and downs
miss...miss you so much....dun even care how much it hurts before.... i just forgive n forget ...i do miss bitter sweet of us..hate...hate tat lots of this and that...and y its still there...annoying you ...go away please...
pray...pray that he will get well soon so lots of things can be done....please take care of you....worry...worry that with myself...myself tat easily used by others...manipulate...
believe...believed that KARMA works the way it MUST work... if not today, tomorrow will ...strong....strong enuff coz ppl around me strong too...just to hold me here in gud hugs...so i stronger than to share,….live...live for things happened & not....i do believed.....i do......
THANK YOU to you ...who ever just keep me smile .....walk and teach me to 'shut-up-nicely' when needed..syyyhhhhhh!!
so??? what???? Monday January 23, 2006 - 07:00pm (SGT)
so what if i know ...whats goin on....what will be....i just cant figure out what n y .....thanks God there always lights in teh dark for me...always smile in tears....
Dear all,
just be HONEST nad BE WHAT U ARE...just be what u suppose to be....dun complicate things.... live in peace..no short cut for d happy living in here....may b u can maybe u win...but there are lots of things waiting.... lesson to learn!!
Mungkin aku juga telah larut.... Thursday January 19, 2006 - 05:37pm (SGT)
LARUT.....DEWA (REPUBLIC CINTA)
mungkin aku pernah juga..
Merasakan cinta..
tapi tak pernah..seindah ini..
mungkin aku juga pernah
Merasakan rindu..
Tapi tak pernah…
Sedalam ini
Mungkin kamu takkan pernah..percaya..
Bahwa sesungguhnya..
aku telah terjatuh….
KUAKUI…AKU…
TELAH LARUT…LARUT KE DALAM KAMU YANG KU CINTAI
They are stupid......im here also feel stupid...... Friday January 20, 2006 - 05:49pm (SGT)
im am in the process of registrating the company name with SSM .....i have been doin this....as wat normal process are...i went to there, i fill in the form as normal HUMAN BEING do.....
THEY JUST STUPID>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I CANT WRITE ANYMORE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>THEY SO STUPID I AM DAMN STUPID>>>>>>
the lines.....
sometimes the last person on the earth you want to be with is the one person you cant be without... - quoted from the cover page of Pride & Prejudice movie web.
http://www.prideandprejudicemovie.net/getflash.html
something ..... Tuesday January 17, 2006 - 05:00pm (SGT)
today kinda drowsy day for me.... tiring without nothing...
i find i'm not that productive at work... kinda lazy stuff with me, even work still on and completed...but i dun 'feel' im here... just do work without heart at all.......something else bother me....but hard to find what izzit all about...talking around to just cheer myself......still not work....
Last nite i went bed quite early >9.25pm>after feeling not well....woke up late nite dreaming something bad....(told a fren but he said> just forget, dun bother much abt it lah....) my youngest sister called me also i'm not able to talk, when i returned her call this morning, seem she feel angry at me.... sorry sis...i am sleepy and feel weak to talk last nite....
yesterday evening, i went to cut my hair, today i feel cut it really short like i used to.....coz i feel its weirdo (the lady who always cut my hair on leave yesterday so i just ask the other guy).....my hair seem got wavy curl .....(kinda not taht patient to wait it lil longer and lazy to care it tat much > im lazy lady of things like tat : make up + hair do+ , but gud at nail care....hehehhehe
over the weekend....i looked back at my wardrobe> lots of still-new-stuff tat i have.....i will not wear it anymore when i back to hometown....most of d clothes will not suit me , while i stay with famili, somemore i dun think i will dare to wear it anymore overthere......younger time stuff...ehehheheheh> thinking giving anyone...> still find out whose the 'who'. All d clothes still new, some branded, gud care (well u know me)...else than tat....thinking abt moving hse ...the furnitures.... sell off> bring back to hometown.....will think again later..
CNY holiday is just around d corner...what i am suppose to do.....long holiday..no money ....where to go wat to do? tell me??? stay at home, cooking reading > need lots of reading material..hehehhehe...sleeping....OMG its long day man....huhuhu help...may help my sister move house to Palm Spring Damansara...miss my Sarah Irdina!!
its goin to b boring day ....its goin to be long & quiet day.....
quote's of the day....
"i've found that luck is quite predictable, if you want more luck, take more chances. be more active, show up mere often. _ BRIAN TRACY"
i wonder today.... Monday January 16, 2006 - 04:30pm (SGT)
1- what is he doin 'follow me' here and there....its OVER ... i cant help nothing much...i really dun want to treat anyone in my lifetime as enemy...i want to be gud as i want ppl be gud to me..... if someone not written to be with someone, ther is NOBODY FAULT!! at all!!...it just a destiny ...now you cant c... but one day..
2- Body odour> please get the deodorant to save you and dun get me involve with your body odour ppl> i stuck & headache (UWEEEKKKK) in LRT today sitting beside a fat man > tell ya.....the smell...i guess....100 days did not shower....> FOR GUY FREN OF MINE>>>PLS CHECK YOURS .....deodorant and parfume worth to invest .... plssss u are in millenium man...
3- Stupid ppl never ever admit that they DAMN STUPID.....> the reality they show off> look like so brilliant...... hey ..look at your x-cy face ppl know oledi whether u wise or not...... wats was so wrong saying that YOU dunno certain things in life.....expert certain things too....nobody knows all....dunno all too! Just be yourself with an exception that you keep learning at the possible you can...
4- Hot tempered guy cant deal with me ...really lazy to deal with 'cant live in pressure' ppl....so...i just be cool...
5- The company you work with sometimes treat you so damn unfair but you stay.....there are so many reasons of staying...or else looking for another job in the same time.... (i am blogging during my office hour....i am damn lazy today...)
6- Everytime i stuck with something, i feel to cut my hair ....whatever i said i wana it long like i used to.....hehehhehe ...
7- Problem cant be setlle just 'as-easy-as-you-think'. Really .....the truth is just prioritize as one of fren of mine advise me.....PRIORITIZE......(he suggest me to marry 'rich man'...hehehe it will not solve ....
8- in this life, dun just dream the sweetest it is...just try to sleep with a wish that new coming day will be gud day.....will be something meaningful.....beautiful not BLOODYFULL..
heheheheh....
Selamat Hari Raya AidilAdha : Friday January 6, 2006 - 04:33pm (SGT)
SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILADHA....
To all Muslims who perform al-Haj this year, wish all get the MABRUR Haji...InsyaAllah...
Tonite i will be back to my beloved hometown....meeting my family...This is the 1st time i'm hometown after my father passed away. im kinda afraid to be hometown , as i know i will never meet ayah anymore....there will be no old man standing there wait for me...no more ayah to ask what i wanna eat...the next day... n no more comment whatever menu i cooked for him....complaint of so salty or sweet food...no MORE!
And no ayah anymore to tell me the story....there is no more argument that we always have during those days....no more...just the grave ...to visit...just the memories that i never failed to remember...the smell of his love, anger and pasionate...of me, being a daughter...
This raya haji will be d 1st raya without ayah...and i will lead the famili for the 1st time...but Alhamdulillah , this year we perfom our korban together with my Bro-in-law. but it will be sweet if i have my dad to be with, to share that very thankful moments....but i guess all happened with a best reasons given from ALlah...y no ayah here...coz this is the time where I myself need to be on my own...to be a leader to my siblings...n be a partner to my mum...but i miss my dad...deep in my heart ...its a deep feeling ...and i am so sorry for what have done and not.... remember his menu....ketupat + kari daging a day before raya (mlm raya), tapai in every raya morning, and he is teh person who will tell us ...how raya was so meaning ful....ayahhhh..
Actually....lots of thing need to be settle during my short holiday....
- my nursery> the registration of company, the new bonsai, agreement and the mgt of it after the flood (most likely the insurance thingy)
- of coz the korban thingy... due to AidilAdha..
- my job at Kedah too.... planning in 2006
- settle new things with my siblings.. their school and daily life...
Fuhhh so many things to do....so amny...can i? Just give a chance to try......i will......
To all MUSLIMS.....Selamat HAri Raya AidilAdha......
To those who drive to hometown or where ever the destination...drive safely... remember those who loves you and you love...
I am bit disappointed and most of it weri... Thursday January 5, 2006 - 05:47pm (SGT)
i feel so deeply disappointed today as the time move with the day...
Not pretty sure about what...maybe its abt work...im less focusing since last 2 mths...everything make me not satisfy with my 'things to do'
and its maybe im thinking too much on my family, my nursery and my career ....
maybe about leaving KL in short time around... the things i need to leave behind, where i just love to hold in my heart...
maybe abouts a lots of things.....that me myself have no words to describe...
im weri...... weri lots of things....
CKiN....take a sit...breath the air slowly....think with proper .....systematic, planning and organize everthing well.....
everything should be ok in time......the time will come for me...i believed...
Pray for a dear fren.... Wednesday January 4, 2006 - 05:09pm (SGT)
this is a pray for a fren of mine....who was warded due to his sickness....
Be strong....coz u can...Be patient coz u r patient enuff...from all these ...Smile even you in deep pain...coz ur smile make me smile also....this is justa lesson for us , to make us better person...
to my fren....i always believe 'the day' is for everyone....the day that you will know that its not you alone here...im here too just to share your ups and downs....
where ever you are...pls think that i always support whatever you are...whatever i am...we keep walking...our story may be different but we face it ....help each other and we can do it ,,,just the way it suppose to be....
my pray will always be with you....deep from my heart.....
Get well soon fren....
things happened lately.... i am the one... Tuesday January 3, 2006 - 06:02pm (SGT)
too many things appear to attach with me , just something i barely understand...what was wrong.....i try harder to understand and to get.... the other side of seeing things...
1- MOST IMPORTANT now to think ahead and always my priority is my MUM, My 2 Younger Bro ANd my Youngest Sis...they are my things to 'just cant ignore even a second'. My younger sis + Bro in law + my lovely cutie Sarah irdina makes me felt that i am complete in other way it shud be...they sometimes make me think twice .....that i am not alone here..
2-My Late Dad has teached me the way i am now , my life so influenced by him..especially i am handling things ....i am talking...i am acting ....best n worst....both blend and that was me now...i realize that wat we both talked & not talking is just fine ....Thanks....i cant thanks him wat ever it is...its not enuff... my Dad just the Great man ....that i am thankful to have... for what he never teach me, he just man enuff to ask for me to hunt.... >remembering his face, remembering his words...his smile, his anger, his silence, OMG...i just cant stop.....telling myself how stupid i am....being so dumb and so blind...all this while.. now i admit...without someone who i called 'ayah' LIFE SO HARD...SO DIFFICULT...
3- there was my cousin bro > talking about 'him' and to my surprise, its him ...that care of my feeling after no one trying to understand...> but it's too late for me to just feel happy for what the 'care is' (can u guys understand) > its too late when i has accepted that betw me n the guy 'i am so into' ....not ment to b with...at least in this life.... and i have take the blame...by pressure.. coz its me 'who into him' not him that actually 'just not into me'...
4- i am too crucial with financial planning with watever i did> im thinking abt my family, abt my 'new takeover business'....just that too important for me to allow even smallest mistake abt these 2 things...i am afraid i am not willing to 'make it' even, in fact i am just human> human learn accordingly....
5- i am stuck to just say out my feeling ( i like or i really hate)> i am please to make ppl happy...> what abt me> can i just resist sometimes > to pelase ppl is just to hard to suite > fine tune and balancing is important...
6- i actually realize with deep thought> that love isn't a love .....for me > i actually never really understand it> to think abt it , it takes u a years....to forget also it takes yearsssssssss. but if i said i love, then i mean it....for the person who just know me....'u have let me go' ..so i walked away...
7- career sometimes goes well n ruin your day too > but there are ups n downs, where you need to put faith after all, its your things you do for a plate of rice everyday.... I realize that if i hate that job how much it is, i loved to death, it just a job....it just something fulfilled my 5 days...
8- i learned that after so many series of unfortunate events....im stronger...i am ready to go far by my way, i am walking ,....sometimes i just drop/ stop to think a second... i never stop all the way....if i can walk, walking i am, if i can fly, flying high i am ...just to tell myself i can....what ever someone try to put me as low they can...i just wana move.... i dun care if i need to crawl most of the times...the most is i never stop!!
9- old fren makes me realize ' i have a fren.... new fren inject me with few more motivations....with who they are, who they are not yet, ...i am enjoying every moments with and without...just dun have enuff words to thanks all....bad and happiness they brought to my life, spice up everythings....new frens....> too many things we will have....just i wish that we can be old fren with times came a long...
10- i still old me...> with things called > MUSIC, BOOKS, READING , COOKING, FISHING...wat else....i just same old me ....but getting older make me just change the beat accordingly....years coming & goes.....
after all.....i just to feel thankful....with wat i have and dun have...
greatful feeling of what i have done and not.....missing all has gone and waiting for the next episode ...but to conclude the year of 2005 > i am tired!!! > collapse...
Happy New Year 2006 for all... Tuesday January 3, 2006 - 04:54pm (SGT)
Wana wish all of you ...a happy new year.... Thank God we still breath teh air....we still can be one of the best we can be...For who has failed to complete/ achieve your 2005 resolution, keep this year as ' year to achieve'
For who has completely done with 2005, CONGRATULATIONS!! Keep it up guys....
For those who has been thru with lots more obstacles, bad day, tears, unfortunate events....just keep walking, just keep trying hard...just be tough.... 'its not just yet'...
For all fren> new and old.....im so fortunate to live around ppl like you guys....Thanks for the best n worst things & time we are together..
Dear my dearie enemies (if any ...) i wish everything will be ok....your day will come to you...
For those who i call 'i am so into you', please remember.....those days has gone... even whatever we did/ tried, just not for us...
Till then....Have gud day everyday for everyone, everywhere u are, whatever you do...
today.......so called 100 n 10 damn moody day ...Y???? Wednesday December 28, 2005 - 05:48pm (SGT)
1- damn fella really turn off my day> too many asking make my head crack> u so damn have to know all those> dun ask me> dun ask many times!!!!
2- other damn nerd guy turn off my day too> his tag me as '.......' > so what? > izzit wrong> i guess its just OK> what do you think you are? > Come on! Who cares????
3- the whether just remind me of the good old days.... n i miss that so much> (can i consider this as turn off?)> what ever lah....
4- the blame was put on me > other ppl mistake (can't be any mistake like that...)> stupid bugger let me join the group> lalaland guy!!
5- i was late to office > 25 minutes> wake up late> train stuck here n there (such a waste if train also stuck here n there)> stupid public transport still!
6-i still feel irritating + annoying+ sick + (bit to hate) + cannot stand with > a person who is bloody all those character i said
7- i tend to be sensitive in many things > even small matter really cares
I NEED A DE-STRESSED PIL....Help Help Help...
I NEED A PILL TO COOL DOWN...
I need a lot of : advice+ motivational words+ boookkkkkkssssss a.k.a reading materials (= Kinokuniya, The times = MPH) + fffoooooddd+ fresh air + lovvvvvveeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssss!!
Bloody hell wat is this? 
wat im talking about?
OMG? What had hapepend?
Tips of the day... Wednesday December 28, 2005 - 05:20pm (SGT)
How to Get Over a Break Up
Want to know how to get over a break up? Here are six secrets to help you get your life together and move on!
1. Bond with other Singles.
At any given time, you probably have a mix of friends in loving relationships as well as those searching for love. Don't be afraid to look-up single friends you haven't seen or spoken to in awhile and make plans for Friday and Saturday night. You'll stay busy on the weekend and maybe even rekindle an old friendship.
2. Start a Social Hobby.
If there is a hobby or activity you have been meaning to try for the first time, or take-up again, this is your chance. Focus on activities that allow you to meet new and interesting people. Examples might include a cooking class, sports league, or bridge club.
3. Go Easy on the Next Person you Meet.
Beware of continuing unfinished business with the next person you meet. If you didn't have a chance to truly close the door on your last relationship, don't project your open issues on the next unsuspecting soul. See the new person as a clean slate and allow the relationship to unfold with no connections to your past.
4. Don't Sling Shot your Ex.
It can be very tempting, particularly on lonely nights, to look up your ex or accept an invitation from your ex for a rekindle. The more you fall back on your old ways, the harder it will be to truly move on. Don't fall for the short term satisfaction of a night out or easy hook-up at the expense of stirring up all the hurt from the breakup.
5. Apply What You've Learned.
Take out a journal and write down everything that went well versus what could have been better in your relationship. Be honest since you're the only one looking at the entry. What could you do better next time? What positive traits did your ex possess that you should look for in the next relationship, or maybe even incorporate into your own style?
6. Talk About Something Else.
Everyone goes through a period of venting to their friends and family about what went wrong and how your ex deserves to go straight to prison. It's okay to do a little venting, but spare your inner circle from an endless tirade for months at a time. Commit to yourself that the next time you call a close friend, you'll focus exclusively on them. This will help you get out of your head for awhile and start feeling normal again.
Pray to that drunken man.... Tuesday December 27, 2005 - 04:46pm (SGT)
last saturday( 24122005)> met with accident> at Kerinchi Link @ 7.00Pm
one drunk old china man> stop the car> mid of teh road> rainy day> BANG KEBABOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!my car total lost> we saved> shocked!!!>
angry to that fucker drunk man> bloodyhell idiot> mampus tak mau hidup menyusahkan org> lu si!
Thanks God that we all save> there's always something> when something happened....believed....HOI IDIOT!!! BLOODY HELL LU!! CRAZY....but i pray u GO TO HELL FOR ALL DRUNK MAN WHO CRAZY DRIVER> GO TO HELL......Hell waiting for u.....
CECELIA AHERN BOOK nice to read Tuesday December 27, 2005 - 03:28pm (SGT)
I have something for those who love readings ....below listed books from writer Cecelia Ahern. This general fiction suit me and its relax.....try to get this...
If You Could See Me Now
From the internationally bestselling author of PS, I LOVE YOU, a lively and romantic novel about two lost souls who find each other in the most unexpected way.
Everything in Elizabeth Egan’s life has its place, from the espresso cups in her gleaming kitchen to the swatches and paint pots of her interior design business. Order and precision keep life under control—and keep
Until, one day, Ivan unexpectedly comes into their lives. The mysterious Ivan is carefree, spontaneous and always looking for adventure—everything that
Playful and at times intensely moving, this is a novel about how seeing isn't always believing. Full of Cecelia Ahern’s trademark warmth and poignancy, If You Could See Me Now is a story of enormous heart--and just a little bit of magic.
Where Rainbows End
From naughty children to rebellious teenagers, Rosie and Alex have stuck by each other through thick and thin. But just as as they're discovering the joys of teenage nights on the town and dating disasters, they're separated. Alex's family move from
Rosie's lost without him. But on the eve of her departure to join Alex in Boston, Rosie gets news that will change her life forever - and keep her at home in Ireland.their magical connection sees them through the ups and downs of each others lives, but neither of them knows whether their friendship can survive the years and miles - or new relationships. And at the back of Rosie's mind is whether they were meant to be more than just good friends all along. Misunderstandings, circumstances and sheer bad luck have kept them apart, but when presented with the ultimate opportunity, will they gamble everything for true love?
P.S. I Love You
Some people wait their whole lives to find their soul mates. But not Holly and GerryChildhood sweethearts, they could finish each other's sentences and even when they fought, they laughed. No one could imagine Holly and Gerry without each other.Until the unthinkable happens. Gerry's death devastates Holly. But as her 30th birthday looms, Gerry comes back to her. He's left her a bundle of notes, gently guiding Holly into her new life without him, each note signed "P.S. I Love You."
As the notes are gradually opened, and as the year unfolds, Holly is both cheered up and challenged. The man who knows her better than anyone sets out to teach her that life goes on. With some help from her friends, and her noisy and loving family, Holly finds herself laughing, crying, singing, dancing - and being braver than ever before.
Life is for living, she realises - but it always helps if there's an angel watching over you
Have a nice reading......
My feeling ..... Friday December 23, 2005 - 02:49pm (SGT)
I’m frustrated:
- That lot of ppl can’t understand / not know at all what is T-O-L-E-R-A-T-E means…. I hate normal people who cant just understand basic value of life…tolerate people!! tolerate !!!
- I am a bit lost focus in work> I hate when I have a problem in work!! > that’s my only things that I really love beside my family
- That actually I still not manage to get the only 1 aim I put as my 1st achievement in year 2005> all bullshit
- My spectacles totally hancur siot….in the incident (adegan bergelut dgn 3 budak hitam>jahat)> I wonder how I love that spectacle compared to the one expensive than that one> huh!
- When money comes to the picture, my headache become even worse> kepala mahu pecah
- I cant make my siblings feel happy this year school holiday….> I’m broke > I have no mood to entertain > even I cant make myself happy in this late 2 months….
- 300 of my tree/ bonsai destroyed in last flood> OMG what will happen to the business??? Tell me?? Wat to do???
I learned:
- Snatcher comes from various age > even skool kid can do> cruel one > damn crazy and brave enuff (wonder y dunt they just go for war if they too brave> stupid > idiot> animal
- Your mistake cant be covered by your mum long lecture….its a MISTAKE after all
- Do not go back late after off> no one will care when something happened> u sendiri sakit > when the clock Ding Dong at 6, go back , hv shower and sleep nicely> dunt think too much after all
- Fren is NOT to fren until you know it better….> some one you never expect to help will always offer helping hand…while for the one you cry for just ignore you…> IGNORE YOU!!!
- Only ‘psycho’ knows ‘psycho’ better> in many ways > in any ways…
- You can love someone….but they will never love you the way u want> they love you the way you never expect> HATE that…
- DO NOT ATTACH with a guy that you barely know his background
I’m thankful:
- skool kid too help me in the incident on last Friday nite> I got all my stuff safely
- I still have fren that help a lot when I’m looking for a help.
- How much me and someone who be with me have bad experiencein our relationship, when im in need, he stand beside just to tell me ‘ everything will be ok’..
- I’m alive….
- I still can think …> even sometimes my pick up so damn slow….> I’m getting old in fact!!
I AM MISS UNFORTUNATE EVENT OF 2006!!!!
To day is today.... Friday December 16, 2005 - 07:00pm (SGT)
today i hope that something miracle can happen....but it not still...
today i pray that something can make me smile.....but it not yet still...
so when shud what i want could be ?
im not tired yet now.....im not that lost hope yet ....
i still will pray hard n will be more determine with wat i want....
THEY? HIM? HER? BOTH OF THEM?
who cares.....im not the slave of the broken heart...im not the one who shud cry because they are laughing....I'M NOT THE ONE!!!
who cares what the hell is that....i work on my own...i breathe the air on my own.....
i on my own...my world...as long as i never kick their privacy....
so WHO CARES??????????
not good as hope : Thursday December 15, 2005 - 04:35pm (SGT)
its bad day...
its tough day....
i dunt wan to face this if i have a choice.....
i hate....i feel bad ....
IT'S a BaD DaY
Highlights of 2day...with wondering n Q'mark ? : Tuesday December 13, 2005 - 12:40pm (SGT)
these are few things.....in my mind....
1- y ppl cant JUST understand one simple plain thing...so damn simple...rules of life...if YOU have understand just do it...no need to ask too many times...too many argument....
2-y pregnant lady need to stand in the public transport....and looking at the youngters who sit n 'asmaradana' ....kalau nak duduk, just ask lah....kalau nak harap that sitting ppl to give u a seat....u dreaming lah...
3-y ...i always have something to offer, while they do not demand? they demand something that i never have....? Stupid izzit?
4- this life have too many choices that i really cant choose, while i have no choice for the things i need more choices...izzit sound so hurt...
5- by December every year , most ppl feel tired of unresolved resolution....tired of bad things happened... but eager of waiting new yr(new happiness)....eager of new resolution...come on...dun do it again...after so many years..u still u taht never ever change....
hehhh wat im talking..... ... where I'm??
Am i telling about me? Am i talking alone...
Shut up ...should i !!! or....i stop talking...
i stop thinking when my head cracking
.....n my heart celebrating a Labor Day!! One day as promised by HIM....
DEFINE THIS.... : Tuesday December 6, 2005 - 05:05pm (SGT)
...THINK.....DEFINE.....INTERPRET...WHAT DO U SEE??? WHAT DO U THINK? WHAT DO YOU UNDERSTAND???
ITS YOUR OWN DEFINITION.....
I am February...what about u? : Monday December 5, 2005 - 06:02pm (SGT)
| Your Birth Month is February |
|
Peaceful and harmonious, you seek the gentle side of life. |
Thank you for support : Monday November 28, 2005 - 04:33pm (SGT)
My father Allahyarham Ishak Bin Salleh pass away last Friday 18 Nov 2005 at 1.45pm at my house, witnessed by my mother and two siblings....Allah loved him more than us...Alhamdulillah....his journey too smooth as everyone alive wish to have when its end of day...
I just wana say THANK YOU....to all.....who support me in whatever they had done.....My family and I appreciate all those supports and condolence greetings. ...
I believed that ....it contribute to my strong feeling and motivated me in many ways....with or without this I have to be strong gurl, sister, daughter and everything to everyone.... who I involved with...
I have learned to many things from this ...to many that I never ever think of that one day I will be 'there'..to face the situation... but i was there...with all my siblings and mother...come together relative's, fren's and neighbour's...
I have learned the most priceless experience that never ever taugh in anywhere....
U will never ever feel 'the feeling' till u have it on your own....
To be a leader to a family is the hardest part that everyone should experince and understand...
I never feel such 'hard time' that I feel now....that I'm facing now.... in my life....but when my father pass away, I feel so 'hard' to continue and I feel like I alone...without that old man...without that fierce and strict man.... I have nowhere to go....dunt know what to do...
I Pray hard God Bless My beloved father....AlFatihah...
its so tough: Thursday November 17, 2005 - 03:33pm (SGT)
its so tough day...tough question...everything so tough....huhuhuu.........am i getting it? huhuhuhu
Im leaving on a jet plane: Wednesday November 16, 2005 - 11:57am (SGT)
Im leaving.......on a jetplane.....don't know when i'll be back again....
A Broken Heart Story - Friday November 11, 2005 - 09:57am (SGT)
Dear frens.....
While searching few images for my work today.....i found this .....i take 5 minutes to look deep in this series of picture....and i was so touch......giving a thought....impression...my own definition, my own understanding.
u can describe a lot from these picture.....even just a comic graphic...but this apply in our daily life....
if thousand people find loves in every minutes of life.....think that, there also thousands of people in this world facing a broken heart in the same minutes....... if who find the loves may smile n feel happy, the broken heart one will cry over the sadness, feel of loosing......looking for the best things to cure... shelter and shoulder to cry...
but this life not just for laughs and tears...its more than that....more than what you can see and think of.....
It's Boring Day : Friday November 11, 2005 - 09:06am (SGT)
The day just start....but i feel so damn bored....
Tadi masa keluar dari umah, macam best jer...sebab baru lepas hujan kan....so macam cuaca lembab tuh best plak feeling dia....sukanya....damai jer rasa hati...basah2 gitu kan...
but...ada but nya....once i enter the glass door, i feel so much pressure ...this is just like giving me a hint that 'something wrong here n there with this place'....Like blur2 case jer pun...huhuhuhuhu....why so damn lazy too....
Weekend just around the corner....need to plan something , outing activity....quite long jugak tak ada activity 'so-sial'...may be i can call Ita and go for something lah....
Maybe can go to PJ Hilton to 'refresh' my mood with Skyhigh- Ita mesti suka ni...ajak Zaily lagilah suka...., kener ajak Fakhri sekali nih...., movie maybe- Like a Heaven, Mask of Zorro 2, Salon or waiting for Harry Porter....or just lepak at mamak.....heheheh....
Tak per tengok budget sat...kalau ada pulus bleh nak merayap...kalau tak der...jgn mimpi...duduk umah lagik bagus.....
Next week balik kampung, ada wedding...next week satu lagik.....pi umah Kak 'Fast'.... ada mkn free.....mana boleh lepas beb...mesti mau bawak tupperware....(mak dia masak sedap)...(puji ada makna)
Hane u take a look at the picture attach? nice or not.....it's one of the picture taken after rainy day....DAMAI...ROMANTIK & SEXY....
kalau paham tak per....
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